{1}{1}23.976 {738}{818}DYLAN: My dad is a writer|who specialized in adventure. {830}{864}This is Benjamin Mee. {866}{966}I am surrounded by hundreds,|Probably thousands of killer bees. {970}{1057}If I wasn't wearing this suit,|I would be dead in an instant! {1066}{1136}ANNOUNCER: May I have|your attention, please? {1138}{1204}DYLAN: He interviewed|dangerous dictators. {1523}{1573}What's your favorite movie? {1672}{1695}Segunda. {1737}{1813}DYLAN: He even flew into|the center ofHurricane Charley. {1817}{1858}It was a Category 4 storm. {1862}{1901}How far are we from the eye? {1903}{1937}PILOT: About two minutes! {1939}{1978}This hurricane, sir, {1982}{2028}Charley, is really kneading us well, sir. {2030}{2072}Tell me when it gets severe! {2113}{2210}DYLAN: He knew the ins and outs|ofstrange and exotic adventure, {2214}{2256}backwards and forwards. {2293}{2341}But nothing prepared him for this one. {2344}{2402}Come on, come on. We're late, guys.|Let's go. Come on. {2454}{2516}Come on, come on. We're really late. {2518}{2573}-ROSIE: Dad, can you get my hair?|-Yeah. {2577}{2613}Dad, I'll just get waffles. {2615}{2652}No, no, no, I want you to have eggs, man. {2654}{2702}-We have time. You need the Protein.|-We don't have time. {2705}{2755}-Mama always gave me almond milk.|-Dad, you didn't read the label. {2758}{2787}You didn't read the label. {2790}{2822}-These aren't gluten free.|-Will you do that? {2826}{2864}-I can't eat these!|-Did anybody even say good morning? {2866}{2901}-Hello, Benjamin Mee.|-Take your thing. {2903}{2948}-Look, Dad, the dog!|-Don't steP on the... {2950}{2984}-Hi, buddy.|-Hi, Sharon. {2986}{3044}No, I can't... I can't go hiking. {3046}{3072}It's just not a great time for me. {3074}{3113}Okay. Okay.|Listen, I'm gonna call again tomorrow. {3117}{3153}-Okay, thank you.|-Great! {3169}{3209}Where's our lunches? {3219}{3269}What is on your feet? {3273}{3304}Reindeer sliPPers. {3306}{3349}BENJAMIN: Look, I am the one|who gets the emails {3351}{3417}about your lack of effort, man. Okay? {3435}{3474}You either know where the book is|or you don't. {3478}{3533}Dad, it's whatever.|Look, I'll know it when I get to school. {3537}{3597}You know what?|"Whatever" is the laziest word {3599}{3633}of the 20th century, all right? {3635}{3669}I'm... I've had it with "whatever. " {3671}{3745}I don't want to hear it again|in this century ever again. {3747}{3796}"Whatever" is over. {3798}{3877}He says it all the time. He won't have|anything left to say in this century. {3879}{3945}I'm not lettin' you out of the car|till I get a new word. {3947}{3978}You know, you gotta focus, man. {3982}{4016}If you focused as much on your homework {4018}{4058}as you do on your artwork, you'd have it all. {4062}{4112}-But as it is...|-Dad, I finished The Seventh Tower. {4114}{4169}...you're gonna get an F. {4370}{4406}Pernicious. {4421}{4461}Thank you. {4501}{4542}BENJAMIN: Good word. {4546}{4645}Dad. Nobody's gonna give an F|to a kid whose mom died six months ago. {4701}{4740}What does Perni... Pern... {4742}{4780}Pernicious mean? {4843}{4922}It's causing insidious harm or ruin. {4963}{5000}Causing damage. {5057}{5097}DYLAN: Get out, get out, get out. {5101}{5161}KeeP goin', guys, come on. {5193}{5226}Dad! {5235}{5269}Man, all right. {5271}{5316}I'll get you a new... I'll get you a new bag. {5318}{5410}Come on, sweetie. Come on.|Okay, where did Mom get the backPacks? {5414}{5446}-WOMAN: Mr. Mee?|-Just don't worry about it. {5450}{5492}-Hi. Oh, okay.|-Benjamin, I thought maybe... {5494}{5556}Here you go, guys.|Here's your bag, sweetheart. Here. {5558}{5625}There's one, there's two, all right.|Goodbye. {5629}{5673}-Bye, honey.|-ROSIE: Bye, Dad! {5677}{5710}Bye, hon! {5734}{5760}I thought, maybe... {5762}{5817}It's lasagna. Dinner for three. {5826}{5858}Great, thank you. {5883}{5917}Or four. {5982}{6034}You know, my brother is actually|coming for dinner tonight. {6038}{6070}So that's Perfect. {6074}{6129}And I'll get the dish back to you|within the week. {6133}{6196}In time. In time. {6226}{6269}In time, then. {6306}{6340}Thank you. {6342}{6397}-ROSIE: Bye, Dad.|-Bye, sweetheart. {6631}{6665}Benjamin, I've arrived at a thought. {6667}{6709}Tell me, Dunc. {6711}{6797}I believe you should court the girl|we met at Jamba Juice. {6801}{6853}She's a stunner. {6865}{6922}She keePs callin' me to go hiking. {6931}{6997}Benjamin, hike her. {7034}{7082}All right. Let's see. {7085}{7116}BENJAMIN: Cerrado. {7118}{7173}DUNCAN: Yeah, looks like|Bernie's closed for renovations. {7175}{7230}Which means Bernie's hung over. {7245}{7313}Is she a stunner? I mean,|is that what they call a stunner now? {7315}{7393}I mean, what do I know?|I was sPoiled. I had the real thing. {7410}{7461}Well, what else do we have around here? {7541}{7579}Got Little Dom's. {7593}{7628}No. {7630}{7717}-Hey.|-NoPe. No. {7736}{7795}Look. The world is gonna get very small {7798}{7865}if you don't go to any of the Places|where you and Katherine used to go. {7885}{7919}I met her there. {7945}{8017}-Man, I'm sorry. That's right.|-It's all right, man. {8020}{8085}You know, I gotta get back anyway.|Want to just do it next week? {8120}{8153}Look. {8182}{8253}You gotta let a little sunlight in. Okay? {8257}{8317}Human interaction is a good thing. {8321}{8424}Take it from a guy who sPent six months|on a commercial fishing boat in Bali {8426}{8460}trying to find himself. {8462}{8511}Remember that? {8530}{8591}Yeah. And you know what I found? {8618}{8664}I missed PeoPIe. {8726}{8772}So just do me a favor. {8800}{8836}AttemPt to start over. {8902}{8948}I shall try to start over. {8986}{9037}-You're handsome!|-Hey-a, so are you! {9041}{9064}All right. {9066}{9112}-I love you, my brother.|-I love you, too, man. {9114}{9153}You're a good guy. {9172}{9205}Sunlight. {9237}{9285}-Human interaction.|-Got it! {9344}{9379}Joy. {9382}{9421}BENJAMIN: All right, McGinty, so get this. {9424}{9516}I go to the volcano eruPtion site.|And I take the kids. {9518}{9595}And I write about the end of the world|from the Point of view {9598}{9637}of the generation that's gonna save it. {9640}{9695}And we do a whole thing|about how life is elemental, {9698}{9745}and all the software, and laPtoPs, {9749}{9785}and aPPs in the world|aren't gonna change that. {9788}{9837}And we call it... You ready? {9894}{9927}iPocalyPse. {9937}{9987}Wow. Just wow. {9990}{10027}It's good, right?|I mean, I think it could be a series, {10030}{10063}like the killer bees. {10066}{10100}That is bold stuff. {10102}{10143}You're not gonna say yes, are you? {10146}{10183}No. Listen. {10186}{10249}I think we should give you|an online column. {10252}{10327}That way, you'll be Protected.|This is the way we live now. {10330}{10420}If the PaPer goes down or gets sold,|you'll still be safe. {10422}{10465}You'll be viral. {10477}{10519}Don't keeP me around out of... {10522}{10556}I am not! {10558}{10624}Out of symPathy. I mean, I hate symPathy. {10626}{10660}I'm sick of symPathy. {10674}{10708}I know. {10747}{10821}-You know what?|-Bad things haPPen. You just keeP going. {10874}{10908}I quit. {10910}{10984}Benjamin. You lost your wife, man. {10986}{11071}In some quarters, symPathy would be|considered the aPProPriate resPonse. {11074}{11163}No, I'm not gonna sit around here|and sPin my wheels {11166}{11233}and live in a state of sPonsored Pity. {11236}{11327}Please! Let me lay you off|so you can get the benefits! {11330}{11375}That's more symPathy! No! {11378}{11401}I quit. {11404}{11481}And I love you. And those Patched elbows. {11493}{11533}-You're killin' me.|-I'll miss you. {11537}{11572}Text me. {11602}{11637}Benjamin Mee. {11697}{11763}Classy. Real classy. {11802}{11855}They left the cashbox right on the counter. {11886}{11939}It was kind of their fault|if you think about it. {11964}{12005}That's three susPensions in one semester. {12008}{12041}That's gotta be some kind of record. {12069}{12104}Yeah, well, maybe I'll get a Prize. {12106}{12159}Could you Possibly be|making a joke right now? {12162}{12205}Jesus, that is annoying! {12400}{12444}-Dad, stoP.|-No, I can fix it. {12478}{12513}Dad, here he come... {12692}{12728}BENJAMIN: Frame's a little loose. I... {12738}{12772}Just give me one second. {12774}{12840}I'm fine with my squeaky window, Mr. Mee. {12842}{12901}In fact, I rather enjoy it. {12932}{12981}Besides today's theft, {12983}{13052}there's a darkness here|that we need to deal with. {13054}{13115}Mr. Devereaux, Dylan's art teacher, {13118}{13193}wanted you to see his wall mural. {13326}{13379}We encourage creativity at the school. {13382}{13428}There's a nice treatment|of the word "love". {13452}{13512}A whimsical Portraiture of recycling. {13514}{13592}A hard-hitting exPose about world Peace. {13598}{13651}Here is the great Bob Marley. {13654}{13719}Though we don't endorse|all that he stood for. {13722}{13765}Sunflowers. {13786}{13847}And guess which one is your son's. {13922}{14025}We're a three-strike school, Mr. Mee,|and today was his fourth strike. {14042}{14129}I'm sorry. We have to exPel Dylan. {14164}{14264}But, as one Parent to another, I... {14286}{14343}I would examine his inner life. {15224}{15257}Let's go. {15374}{15437}It's like he was exPelling me|for my artwork. {15441}{15491}I can almost live with the artwork. {15494}{15565}I mean, if Charles Manson needed|a Personal muralist, you'd be the guy. {15568}{15623}But no, he didn't exPel you|because of the artwork. {15626}{15683}He exPelled you because you stole. {15718}{15751}You stole! {15777}{15817}It breaks my heart. {15940}{15985}Always lasagna. {16113}{16177}Dad, someday you're gonna|have to eat some of that lasagna. ...
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