S. A. Swiniarski - Raven.txt

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Copyright © 1996 by S. A. Swiniarski.
At! Rights Reserved.
Cover art by Don Brautigam.
DAW Book Collectors No. 1040.

Atl characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resem-
blance to persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

If you purchase this book without a cover you should be aware that

this book may have been stolen property and reported as "unsold
and destroyed" to the publisher. In such case neither the author nor

the publisher has received any payment for this "stripped book."

First Printing. November 1996

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DAW TRADEMARK REGISTERED

U.S. PAT. OFF. AND FOREIGN COUNTRIES

—MARCA REG1STRADA

HECHO EN U-S.A.

PRINTED IN THE U.S.A.

The literate pans of this are dedicated to
Robert E. McDonough.

The bloodthirsty parts of this are dedicated to
Susie Kretschmer.

Acknowledgments to

Astrid, Susie, Charlie, Levin, Mary, Bonnie, Geoff, and
Paula for doing their best to eviscerate this novel in the
manuscript. I also give thanks to Mr. Poe
for the obvious reasons.

PREMATURE
BURIAL

Thank Heaven! the crisis—

The danger is past.
And the lingering illness

fs over at last—
And the fever called "Living"
Is conquered at last.

—"For Annie"

1

I dreamed of blood, and I awoke in a frozen darkness,
wondering why I was not yet dead. As my blood-red
dreams faded, cold wrapped my body in a grip severe
enough to tear flesh from bone.

"Shit."

My painful whisper was loud enough to frighten me
down to my soul.

My back pressed against a wall of curving concrete.
Water rushed over me, up to my waist. I opened my
eyes, and could barely see a darker shadow where the
rest of my body was. The water numbed my body, and
my frozen hands couldn't feel the ice on the walls.

My senseless hands slid over the concrete as I tried
to push myself upright. When I finally stood, I heard
the rip of my clothing tearing from where it had frozen
to the wall. When the wall released me, my head
slammed into the low ceiling, and dizziness overcame
me. I had to crouch and dry-heave until my gut ached
and my eyes stopped watering.

I was so cold.

My mind flew in chaotic tumbles, the cold and the
vertigo making it easy to lose my concentration. My
thoughts took a supreme effort to retain, and it was
some minutes—too many minutes in this icy tomb—
before I had overcome my disorientation long enough
to think about where I had awoken.

Once I could concentrate, it was obvious that I stood

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S.A. Swiniarski

in a storm sewer somewhere. But I had no idea where it
was, no memory of how I got here.

The more I tried to force my memory, the more
traitor my mind became. As I groped for some impres-
sion, some image of my life before this icy hell, my
mind was gripped by a headache that shot sparks of
color before my eyes.

I was in serious trouble. I had no memory. Every-
thing before my awakening, and a sense of a dream,
was a void. I felt a sick impression of what was there,
like sensing the definition of a forgotten word, but the
substance of my memory was gone.

Not only couldn't I remember how I had come to
this place, but I couldn't remember who I was.

I put a hand to my head, and while I couldn't find an
injury—all parts of my skull throbbed equally—my
hair was clotted with frozen blood.

Not good. Possible head injury, nausea, dizziness,
amnesia, nightmares—and I was probably going to die
of exposure and hypothermia down here. The thought
of dying down here, with no memory of who I was, ter-
rified me.

I started downstream, hoping for an exit before the
cold finally claimed me. As I duckwalked through the
knee-deep current I tried to force a memory of how I'd
gotten into this mess.

Had I fallen through an open manhole? Had I col-
lapsed into a drainage ditch to be washed under-
ground? I could not focus on what had happened.
Nothing emerged from my memory beyond the impres-
sion of violence done to me.

However I had come here, I could not imagine it
happening more than a quarter-hour ago. The cold was
deadly. It was a miracle that I had not yet died from it.
However long I'd been submerged in this icy water,
any longer, I felt, and I never would have woken up.

For a moment I took some comfort in being able to

RAVEN               13

think clearly now. That comfort brought an unbidden
thought, If I am brain damaged, would I know / was
thinking like mushy cabbage? I pushed away the idea.

I slogged downstream, the rushing water cold, deep,
and painful. I felt sick that I might have survived what-
ever accident brought me here only to die of hypo-
thermia, or lose my legs to frostbite.

For some reason, that brought an involuntary laugh
which made me dizzy and surprised me by showing me
my own breath. My eyes had adjusted to what little
light there was, and I could see my misty laughter
before me. I hugged myself for warmth—gaining little
from it—and slogged on.

The laugh had been for the word "accident."

The word was soaked with irony despite the fact I
could remember nothing of what had happened. My
subconscious knew, however, that "accident" was the
last word to describe what had occurred. What had
happened to me was violent, purposeful, and inten-
tional. This had been done to me. No faces, no memory
of the act itself, only the certainty that some asshole
had tried to kill me.

My anger made me a little warmer. So did the move-
ment, the effort easing some of the chill. It helped
when I finally walked into a chamber talt enough for
me to stand upright.

By now I could nearly see, and I was fighting to
stand upright against the current pushing me. The
water was up to my chest before I found a ledge lining
the tunnel that was high enough for me to stand out of
the water. I climbed up on it and stood, shaking, cold,
and wet. Sensation, searing cold, returned to my
numbed lower body.

I don't know how long I'd walked down that sewer
pipe, or how long my legs had been submerged, but
when my legs were exposed to the air, cold as it was, it
felt as if someone were torching them. The pain was

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S.A. Swiniwski

bad enough to make me gasp and nearly pitch headfirst
into the torrent below.

Looking down at the water, I couldn't believe I had
fought my way out. Now that my eyes could make out
this gray subterranean world, I saw how close to death
I'd been. The water roared, carrying logs the size of my
thigh and battering them against the walls. As I watched,
one slime-blackened log slammed into a swamped
shopping cart that was wedged against the walls. The
sound of the impact echoed through the sewer, and the
cart was dented and knocked loose, to clatter along the
wall and out of my sight. If I'd been struck by that log,
it would have cost me some ribs or possibly my spine.

I must have been unconscious and swept down the
sewer by this torrent. Miraculously I hadn't drowned or
had parts of me bashed to pulp against the walls.

I felt my head again. Maybe part of me had been

pulped.

I suddenly realized that I had stopped breathing.

Panic gripped me, slamming the headache back into
my skull. I thought I was having a stroke. But once I
thought about it, my chest shuddered and I started
breathing again. I sucked air in great gulps that had to
originate from psychological rather than physical need.
I hadn't been consciously holding my breath, and I
hadn't stopped long enough for it to cause any pain or
discomfort.

It scared me.

It scared me worse than amnesia or possible brain
damage. It scared me because I hadn't realized it was
happening. I was terribly conscious of my own
breathing as I made my way down the storm sewer.

I inched along that concrete ledge, sliding along
walls of brick, concrete, and eventually corrugated
steel. 1 managed to avoid immersing myself again.

It seemed an aeon before I finally made it out of that

RAVEN               15

frigid little hell. Logic told me that the time I spent
underground must have been subjective. Had I actually
spent the hours down there that I felt I had, I would
have been a frozen corpse long before I reached the
sewer's outflow.

The outflow I came to emerged from underneath a
highway. The echo of traffic reached me through cor-
rugated steel long before I saw the opening. The exit
itself was hidden around a bend until I stepped in front
of it.

It opened onto a swollen river that snaked away into
a frosted ravine. Snow-covered ice began a few feet
from the opening, an unbroken blue plain, shimmering
in the moonlight.

I inched out of the sewer opening, stepping on rocks
and downed trees, trying to avoid dunking myself
again. It was colder out here, under a clear black sky,
the air sharp enough to shave with.

I pulled myself onto ice that could support my
weight, holding on to a tree growing out from the lip of
the ravine, and looked up tne wall from which I had
just emerged. The storm sewer outlet was set into a
sloping hillside that went up for maybe a dozen or
twenty feet, topped by a guardrail. As I watched, a
lonely car sped out of the darkness, passed me. and dis-
appeared back into the darkness, chased by its own
bloody taillights.

I moved to the edge of the ravine, holding on to the
branch above me until I was certain that I was on firm
ground rather than snow-covered ice. Seeing the
highway lifted something in me, as if it was a confir-
mation of my survival. I was going to make it through
the snow and the cold. I was going to live, however
unlikely that was. I shook in the cold and told myself
that I had, finally, made it. I had gotten out of the pit
alive.

Whether or not I was in one piece, that was debatab...
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