{1801}{1892}THE FIRE WITHIN {2804}{2893}At that moment, Alain studied|Lydia's face relentlessly... {2965}{3037}as he had been doing|since she came to see him {3058}{3084}three days earlier. {3154}{3193}What was he looking for? {3234}{3278}Lydia turned her head away, {3303}{3378}lowered her eyelids,|and grew absorbed. {3427}{3459}In what? {3484}{3523}In herself? {3543}{3630}Was it her contented rage|that swelled her neck and belly? {3662}{3752}This sensation that emanated|nothing, but was so clear? {4320}{4409}Once again the feeling had eluded him, {4450}{4506}like a snake between stones. {5625}{5683}Poor Alain.|You look so uncomfortable. {5996}{6033}It's been so long. {6298}{6331}It's my fault. {6424}{6467}Let me see you smile, Alain. {6478}{6551}It was fine. I feel satisfied. {7559}{7600}It's light out. {7627}{7664}I have to hurry. {7699}{7739}I have packing to do. {7750}{7793}Your plane isn't until 11:00. {7806}{7851}I have a lot to do this morning. {7887}{7940}Francesca is picking me up at 8:00. {8787}{8841}It was so good|to see you again. {8918}{8940}You know... {9036}{9108}I love you in a very special way. {9243}{9288}Thank you for coming. {9362}{9401}Thank Dorothy for that. {9426}{9482}She's the one who asked me|to come see you. {9510}{9554}She gave me the clinic address. {9943}{9987}What shall I tell Dorothy? {10031}{10068}Nothing. Why? {10137}{10204}I said I'd phone her|when I get back to New York. {10225}{10281}She wants to know|how you're getting along. {10359}{10396}What will you say? {10424}{10504}The truth.|That you're completely cured. {10567}{10623}I'll ask her|what she has planned for you. {10761}{10819}- Will you tell her we...|- No, Alain. {10832}{10883}Unless you ask me to. {10914}{10947}I won't ask you to. {11089}{11134}She'll suspect something. {11171}{11216}It won't even occur to her. {11255}{11305}She has other things on her mind. {11338}{11361}Then again... {11402}{11454}it's more likely to suit her. {11554}{11618}Have you two discussed divorce? {11674}{11706}We did, once. {11727}{11806}Six months ago, just before I left. {11862}{11893}And since then? {11938}{11984}We haven't spoken since then. {12097}{12156}She sends the doctor|a monthly check. {12228}{12256}She never writes? {12307}{12354}She did, at first. {12405}{12434}And you? {12470}{12520}I wrote her two weeks ago. {12555}{12599}Didn't she mention it? {12711}{12758}Do you still love her? {12889}{12930}I don't know. {12964}{13015}Dorothy isn't the woman for you. {13031}{13109}She isn't rich enough.|She lets you do what you want. {13139}{13214}You need a woman|who won't let you out of her sight. {13229}{13275}Otherwise you get depressed {13290}{13336}and act foolishly. {13401}{13444}You know me so well. {13456}{13517}When I get depressed,|I do foolish things. {13559}{13603}Of course I know you. {13684}{13770}In fact, I think|l've always wanted to marry you. {13810}{13856}Even in Dorothy's day. {14747}{14801}I can't take you to the airport. {14835}{14908}The doctor will be angry|about my spending the night out. {14923}{15001}If I don't go back now,|they'll throw me out. {15030}{15078}Francesca will drive me. {15119}{15152}In any case, Alain, {15183}{15232}we'll see each other again soon. {15853}{15902}How long has it been? {15917}{15968}Four months... or thereabouts. {16029}{16068}Without a drop of liquor? {16173}{16233}Since I finished the cure|not a drop. {16346}{16408}The cure consists|of having you drink. {16441}{16490}Drink... drink... {16523}{16546}until you burst. {16590}{16611}ls it rough? {16704}{16762}Had I known|I wouldn't have done it. {16806}{16834}And now? {16866}{16899}Now? {16925}{16949}Nothing. {17309}{17338}Lydia... {17454}{17487}I wanted you to know - {17723}{17753}What're you doing? {17972}{18044}I insist.|You've forgotten, but I haven't. {18068}{18137}A gambling debt on the Zographos' boat,|four years ago. {18433}{18478}This forgotten city. {18543}{18580}So sad. {18657}{18701}That strange clinic. {18739}{18773}You're cured, Alain. {18799}{18841}Why do you stay there? {18891}{18934}I like it there. {18980}{19038}A patient's life is ordered and simple. {19087}{19119}It shelters us. {19167}{19227}I'm not eager to face life again. {19278}{19320}Paris scares me. {19344}{19374}Think I'm a coward? {19386}{19455}No, Alain.|I think you're unhappy. {19557}{19597}Come to New York. {19650}{19707}Promise you'll come as soon as you can. {19745}{19800}To settle things with Dorothy. {19893}{19942}Even if you get back together. {20042}{20107}Don't go. Don't leave me. {20168}{20207}I need you. {20273}{20347}Don't leave, I'm begging you.|It's serious. {20367}{20404}I have to. {20442}{20494}I have to be in New York tomorrow. {20520}{20551}They want the designs. {20611}{20670}- It's important?|- Everything depends on it. {20802}{20843}I'm a businesswoman now. {21123}{21203}I know, I'm leaving you|with your worst enemy. Yourself. {21228}{21271}Come to New York. {21296}{21343}No, Lydia, and I mean no. {21359}{21391}I won't come to New York. {21405}{21447}I won't marry you. {21462}{21535}You'd be unhappy.|Another Dorothy. {21567}{21614}Anyway, you can't help me. {21639}{21671}It's too late. {21738}{21807}Take madame to Paris.|Hotel Raphael, avenue Kl?ber. {21898}{21954}HEALTH CLINIC {21967}{22039}REST CURES|MEDICAL SUPERVISlON {22573}{22618}They're all at lunch. {23042}{23109}Thomism comes from St. Thomas. {23123}{23170}So "Saint" implies theology. {23184}{23275}Nonsense! St. Thomas separated|philosophy from theology. {23343}{23381}Some small-town professor {23391}{23514}who posits Racine's world|against that of Proust, Cocteau, Genet. {23536}{23616}The prig should read La Palatine. {23631}{23691}Believing is not knowing. {23787}{23841}You came in this morning. {23972}{24037}Credo ut intelligam, my dear man. {24051}{24095}"l believe in order to understand." {24106}{24187}Not if you claim St. Thomas|separated philosophy and theology. {24203}{24271}Don't confuse faith and understanding.|St. Thomas says, {24289}{24334}"Where knowledge is, faith is not." {24462}{24556}Some lovely persons must|have been so happy to see you again. {24595}{24635}Lovely persons aren't demanding. {24647}{24690}But you are. {24721}{24779}If you weren't, you wouldn't be here. {24859}{24893}Ever been to America? {24903}{24966}No, it's hard enough|getting to know our old Europe. {24994}{25054}And they're so brutal there,|they might kill me. {25097}{25154}Our young man looks pale|after his little jaunt. {25168}{25229}He was handsomer before.|- He must still be. {25265}{25304}You stare at him enough. {25315}{25396}- Compared to Aristotle -|- I refuse to discuss Aristotle. {25415}{25495}But reason dominates will.|It's what determines - {25511}{25591}Why only talk to Mr. D'Averseau? {25608}{25650}We'd all like to hear. {25667}{25691}We sure would! {25733}{25780}It might be very interesting. {26762}{26800}Are you leaving us? {26839}{26880}No. Why? {26947}{26994}That's what the doctor implied. {27043}{27090}Aren't you happy with us? {27110}{27140}Yes, I am. {27179}{27219}I feel at home here. {27254}{27293}You're my family. {27379}{27445}Without it, Nothingness|wouldn't have any quality. {27499}{27543}Where do your parents live? {27663}{27690}In the provinces. {27720}{27759}They're very old. {27787}{27834}I don't see them anymore. {27986}{28021}Poor boy. {28032}{28071}Poor boy? {28085}{28143}A youth misspent in riotous living, {28156}{28184}and now, problems! {28193}{28232}You're not being sensible. {28243}{28318}You should take|a nap this afternoon. {28392}{28433}Go back to bed. {30066}{30097}What a shame. {30489}{30521}What a crying shame! {30683}{30765}Checkmate in five moves...|the great man! {31754}{31858}"Shocking! Jean-Jacques (age 5) tries|to fly but hangs himself on curtain cord." {32220}{32267}JULY 23 {32390}{32501}"Naked, she lay there dead,|her dying husband beside her." {32598}{32626}Dorothy. {34660}{34694}Money. {34888}{34958}It slips right through your fingers. {40678}{40713}Am I disturbing you? {40771}{40794}Not at all, Doctor. {40826}{40898}I knocked several times.|I thought you might be asleep. {40980}{41016}Sit down. {41119}{41157}You went to Paris last night? {41197}{41243}I never left Versailles. {41258}{41329}I hope you didn't do anything|foolhardy on your first time out. {41344}{41382}Don't worry, Doctor. {41404}{41459}I was with a lady, {41471}{41503}like a good little schoolboy. {41514}{41563}Well done. Fine. Excellent. {41735}{41775}Make up for lost time. {41802}{41876}Once you leave here -|- Are you throwing me out? {41891}{41957}Not at all!|I'm delighted to have you here. {41982}{42058}But you've been fully cured|for quite some time now. {42187}{42251}I can't keep you here|without reason. {42291}{42337}Doctor, I'll start again. {42395}{42473}If I leave, I'll start drinking again.|Sooner or later. {42531}{42557}What else can I do? {42566}{42611}No news from America? {42661}{42736}There won't be any.|There's no connection. {42751}{42777}There is. Be patient. {42859}{42906}I am patient. {43289}{43330}l've done nothing but wait. {43429}{43456}All my life. {43544}{43579}Waiting... {43660}{43726}for something to happen. {43824}{43856}For what, I don't know. {43896}{43940}Now you do. {43963}{44016}You love your wife|and she loves you. {44068}{44152}That's what you think.|Because that suits you. {44187}{44237}You insisted I write to her. {44348}{44420}Dorothy knows I'll never make it. {44435}{44481}But you have made it. {44526}{44588}- I haven't, and you know it.|- I can see it. {44619}{44659}It won't last. {44671}{44705}Wait for her letter. {44740}{44781}It could come any day now. ...
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