[43][72]So, this fella asks the farmer, [63][93]"Hey, how come your pig|has a wooden leg?" [95][132]The farmer says, "Well, see,|I fell in the pond once," [132][154]"and this pig|saved me from drowning." [155][193]- Saved him from drowning.|- The fella says, "Well, what about|the wooden leg?" [193][226]"Well", says the farmer,|"I fell off my tractor once," [226][278]- "and this pig here ran for help."|- I love it. [279][315]Again, the fella says,|"But what about that wooden leg?" [315][333]- Holling?|- One second, Ed. [334][390]The farmer says, "Well, the house|caught on fire and this pig came in there,|and he dragged me out." [391][419]Well, by now, the fella's getting|just a little bit peeved. [420][460]- He says, "But what about|that wooden leg?"|- Oh, here it comes. Here it comes. [460][496]"Well", says the farmer,|"a pig like that," [497][533]"you wouldn't wanna eat him...|not all at once." [575][607]- What is it, Ed?|- Holling, it's Jesse. [607][623]Jesse? [623][648]Yeah. [649][681]Uh, well, [681][703]Go on. Spit it out. [720][746]Holling, Jesse's dead. [739][755]Dead? [776][788]Well, [852][880]Who's Jesse? [877][895]Oh. He was a bear. [1386][1424]"We returned from the Pole|to Cape Columbia in only 16 days." [1425][1466]"The exhilaration of success|lent wings to our sorely battered feet," [1467][1489]"but Ootah had his own explanation." [1490][1527]"Said he, 'The devil is asleep|or having trouble with his wife," [1528][1556]"or we should not have|come back so easily." [1557][1605]Why the Robert Peary, you ask?|Well, we got a bulletin here from|our friends over at JPL. [1605][1637]It seems Earth's happy spacecraft,|the Voyager 1, [1638][1678]is now some 7.2 billion|kilometers from home. [1679][1694]It's passing through the heliopause. [1695][1738]It's zipping out of our solar system|into the bosom of the Milky Way. [1738][1775]Good luck and godspeed to you,|our noble emissary. [1775][1818]You know, that's a trip|all us earthbound stargazers|would love to take. [1819][1850]As a consolation prize,|the Van Allen radiation belt... [1850][1876]is currently presenting|the aurora borealis, [1877][1905]and here in Cicely, Alaska,|that's a show you won't wanna miss. [1905][1924]There's not a bad seat in the house. [1945][1960]Morning. [2071][2096]What the hell? [2153][2168]Can I help you? [2169][2200]Mr. Minnifield. [2232][2285]- You people want something?|- Mr. Minnifield,|we are admirers of yours. Big fans. [2286][2317]- How's that?|- Are you kidding?|You're very famous. [2318][2340]Mercury program, "right stuff", you. [2367][2400]- Mr. Minnifield, may I, please?|- Yeah. I guess so. [2401][2419]Make it quick. [2419][2466]I can see how meeting an astronaut would|be a heady experience for you people. [2466][2501]Not having the wherewithal|to fund your own space program. [2516][2551]Hotel space is at a premium here.|Where you folks staying? [2551][2593]- Sourdough Inn.|- Sourdough Inn? [2594][2632]- No.|- Yeah. Sourdough Inn. [2652][2674]Is that the Sourdough Inn|out by Eagle Lake? [2674][2699]- The one that's owned by...|- Ron and Erick. [2705][2724]Clearly, you people have been misled. [2725][2774]This Ron and Erick, they're,|they're sodomites. Fairies. [2775][2807]- Homosexuals.|- You know about that? [2807][2835]- Yes.|- Well, then, why the hell|are you staying out there? [2836][2855]Good value. [2856][2880]All right, that's it. Go on.|Get moving. Beat it. [2880][2906]Beat it. Go on.|Move, move, move, move. [2970][2994]It's Jesse, all right. [3005][3045]The ligaments are gone.|The bones have separated. [3045][3084]Must have over-wintered.|Probably died last summer. [3085][3113]- I wonder how it happened?|- It wasn't hunters. [3114][3158]- They would've taken the claws|and the skull.|- Good point. [3159][3214]The bones aren't really broken,|so it couldn't have been a moose. [3214][3256]The way the, uh,|these molars are worn down, [3256][3295]and the sutures in the skull|all grown together? [3295][3348]Well, I'd say|just must've been old age that got him. [3349][3367]No. [3393][3443]Somehow, I always thought Jesse'd go,|I don't know, like Butch and Sundance. [3443][3488]Hail of gunfire,|freeze-frame and roll the credits. [3539][3594]Ruth-Anne needs me to run and make|a delivery for her over to old Howie Neil's.|He's laid up with phlebitis. [3595][3617]You go ahead, Ed. [3618][3644]I'd like to stay here for a while. [3661][3688]Okay. I'll see ya, Holling. [3843][3864]- Hi, Ruth-Anne.|- Hi, Maggie. [3864][3888]- Mail's in.|- Good. [3889][3907]- Listen, do you know|a McWilliams?|- Who? [3908][3945]- Richard McWilliams.|- I don't think so.|What's the address? [3945][3967]Just "Richard McWilliams,|Cicely, Alaska." [3968][3999]How odd.|Look at all that postage. [4000][4032]Thailand. Luxembourg. [4033][4085]- Sierra Leone.|- Wow. This box has been around. [4085][4135]- What's D.D.R.?|- Deutsch Democratic Republic.|The late East Germany. [4147][4180]Why is it other countries' stamps|are so beautiful and ours are so blah? [4181][4214]Bali. I've always|wanted to go to Bali. [4228][4248]Well, McWilliams.|Who is this guy? [4249][4285]I don't know. But if he wants|his package, he's gonna have to|come in here to get it. [4286][4300]- All right.|- Bye. [4301][4317]Bye. [4337][4364]Caribou. [4369][4416]- Caribou. Beef teriyaki.|- Thanks, and can we have|another refill for Fumio? [4416][4435]Okay. [4448][4475]- Double Canadian, water back.|- Heard about Jesse. [4476][4519]- About time someone nailed|that S.O.B.|- How's that? [4519][4556]I wish I'd had him in my sights.|So long, dude. [4557][4595]- Pow. Pow.|- You ever listen to yourself? [4610][4646]- You ever hear|what comes out of your mouth?|- Huh? What do you mean? [4647][4674]You have the gall|to talk about Jesse? You? [4675][4704]You're not fit|to pick the burrs off his coat. [4704][4756]- You're not fit to clean|the dirt under his claw.|- Right. [4756][4785]Jesse's twice the man you are,|and he's a bear. [4786][4829]- Holling, what is the matter with you?|- I don't like him|calling Jesse names. [4830][4852]Why not?|You call Jesse all kinds of names. [4852][4888]- That's different.|- Different? How's it different? [4889][4922]Doesn't sound any different to me. [4942][4993]Reminder: We'll be playing all|the late Beethoven string quartets|tonight starting at 10:00. [4993][5022]Hey. We got a message for|Mr. Richard McWilliams... [5023][5052]from the neither-rain-nor-snow people|at the U.S. Postal Service. [5053][5077]Seems your well-traveled package|has arrived. [5077][5103]You can see postmistress|Ruth-Anne Miller to claim it. [5104][5130]- Don't forget to bring|some photo I.D. now.|- Oh, look at that. [5131][5164]How much do you suppose|the dynamic duo's pullin' in? [5165][5197]Ron and Erick?|Well, they got a three-day package... [5198][5236]at, uh, 850 a couple. [5237][5288]Say, eight couples? Turnover twice a week?|That's, uh, hold on, hold on, let me think. [5289][5332]- I don't know what that is.|- $13,600 a week. [5332][5358]Whoo. That's pretty hefty, huh? [5359][5395]When I sold those fruits my place,|I thought I skunked 'em. [5396][5426]- Thought they overpaid.|- Guess not. [5427][5459]Like any businessman, Chris, [5459][5488]I hate being bested in a deal. [5489][5525]But I particularly hate|being bested by fairies. [5526][5560]Oh, great. What now? [5618][5648]You have a sec, Maurice?|We'd like to talk. [5649][5675]- You know, our guests|were absolutely thrilled to meet you.|- That a fact? [5675][5706]Yeah, actually they used|the word kangeki, [5707][5732]which is hard to translate,|but it means a kind of awesome joy. [5732][5768]Kangeki. I suppose|you speak Japanese, huh? [5769][5796]- Well, I'm not as fluent|as I was in the corps.|- The corps? [5797][5823]Yeah, the Marine Corps.|I was a guard at the Tokyo embassy. [5823][5863]Anyway, we thought you might enjoy|coming over tomorrow night|and giving a little talk? [5864][5889]You know, anecdotal stuff|about your NASA days? [5890][5935]The Japanese would really|get a big kick out of that.|We'll pay you. Uh, say, $500? [5935][5966]Let me tell you gentlemen something. [5966][5996]I find it repugnant that|visitors to our shore... [5997][6045]have to stay in an establishment|run by a couple of members|of a deviant subculture. [6046][6085]- What kind of an impression|do you think that makes?|- All right, then, 700. [6086][6106]This is not about money. [6106][6153]Your lifestyle is a violation|of natural law. I'll have no part of it. [6154][6199]- Am I missing something here?|- 750 and not a penny more. [6199][6235]All right, that's it.|Come on. Get out of here. [6235][6285]- Out.|- All right. But if you change your mind,|you let us know. [6286][6305]Semper fi. [6397][6425]Hey, Holling.|Hey, I heard about Jesse. [6440][6476]You okay? [6477][6521]Joel, have you ever been|mauled by an animal? [6522][6547]Uh, no. Can't say I have. [6548][6592]Well, let me tell you.|Very few things in life can compare. [6592][6616]Yeah, well, I can imagine. [6617][6660]When I met Jesse,|I was hunting up on Nanuk Ridge. [6661][6700]I'd just brought down|a black-tailed deer|and started to clean it. [6701][6718]That's when Jesse charged. [6730][6780]Ten feet tall, eighteen hundred pounds,|and fast. [6781][6834]I didn't even have time to fire|before he knocked the Winchester|right out of my hands. [6835][6869]He clamped his jaws|down on my shoulder. [6870][6899]I heard the bones breaking. [6900][6956]Somehow, I managed to|grab his paw, bit his toe off. [6973][7026]Jesse shook me hard, then|threw me down on the ground|just like a little stone. [7027][7063]A pebble. I tried to run. [7064][7109]Jesse gave me a swipe.|He opened up a two-inc...
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