04-Dating Strategies.pdf

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Dating Strategies
of Women
part 4 f 8
for All 8 Types
of the Pandora’s Ph.D.
Strategy Series
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ii
Vin DiCarlo
DiCarlo Coaching
Strategy Guide Written By Brian Burke
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have a counter-productive focus, or lack focus altogether. When it comes
to going on dates with women, most men fall apart. The hours, and even days
leading up to the date, are marked with anxiety and over-strategizing. I don’t
remember the irst time I asked a woman on a date, but I remember that it was
a nerve-wracking ordeal, and stayed that way for a long time. Just the thought
of that moment when I’d have to cut the small talk and actually ask a girl to
hang out with me was terrifying. What if she said no ?
Things are very different for me now. Setting up a “dates” is almost second
nature. It’s what I do. The whole game of meeting women, dating, sex,
relationships, is all about two people coming together, getting to know each
other more intimately over time. The bond between a man and a woman in a
sexual relationship is unique and special. Unfortunately, most men don’t treat
it as such. When you adopt the mindset of sharing your time with women, and
sharing experiences together as friends , everything becomes much easier.
This may sound counterintuitive – being friends with a woman that you want
to sleep with. But you’ll ind, with experience, that actually intending on
getting to know a woman, and having fun together outside the bedroom , will
make her much more interested in being intimate with you.
Introduction
T he biggest mistake men make when it comes to dating is that they either
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Pace
I have a rule when it comes to sleeping with women. Don’t rush . This may
also sound counterintuitive because it is. It took me some time to really work
out this concept in my own mind. I move and talk slow, take my time, and
don’t put pressure on women, or myself, to have sex. At the same time, I don’t
miss opportunities to escalate, if I want to . Often, a woman will want me to
make a move (it will be very obvious), but for whatever reason, I may not feel
like it. But if I am turned on by a woman, and I sense she is ready to go to the
next level, I don’t hesitate.
Focus
Which brings me back to focus. The rest of this guide is based on two
presumptions. First, you don’t intend on hurting women. If your intention is
purely sexual, that’s ine, because women want sex too. But if you’re intention
is to use sex as a way of hurting women then this guide won’t work very well
for you; you’re intention won’t match the techniques laid out. Second, you
aren’t concerned with impressing women on your dates. If you are distracted
by approval-seeking thoughts, you won’t be able use this information
effectively.
It was the fear of rejection, or disapproval that made me so nervous when
I was younger. Worrying about whether or not a woman likes you is THE
problem when it comes to being good with women. This is what I mean by
a counter-productive focus. By focusing on making a woman like you, you
increase the chance that she’ll like you, because approval-seeking behavior
is universally repulsive. Women are extremely perceptive when it comes to
gauging how you think, and what you are paying attention to. In fact, that’s
what it’s all about – you attract (or repulse) women, by how you think.
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Keep that in mind as you read this guide. Everything laid out is meant to
convey to women that you think differently than the average guy because you
are interested in a mutually beneicial experience. You want to have fun with
her, get to know her, relax with her and show her that she is safe with you.
Overview
This guide irst details how each Line in Pandora’s Box affects your dating
strategy. The second section of this guide is organized by each type, providing
an overview of key concepts and examples of application. And it’s worth
repeating that moving forward, your mindset for dating women is to become
friends. Consider what that means if sex is included in this intention.
It’s important to note here that the deinition of “date” can mean simply
hanging out with a woman. Using this deinition, if you go to the store with
a woman you have been sleeping with, that would be a “date.” However, I’m
sure you wouldn’t call that a date. Let’s say that, for the practical purposes of
this guide, a date is an arranged meeting with a woman you have not slept with.
New Rules
There are a few keys to successful dating that apply universally to all women.
Here’s the rundown:
Keep it cheap, but don’t look cheap. There’s a direct correlation between how
much money you spend and how long she makes you wait for sex. Don’t
appear to be trying to impress her with money, or your expertise in wine (I
remember telling one woman, “I don’t know shit about wine so you’re on your
own there. I can tell you about beer though!”)
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