1 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,159 'Tonight, I use a machine.' Agh! 2 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:18,199 James writes on a blackboard... 3 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:21,400 And Richard lobs fruit into a caravan. 4 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,799 APPLAUSE Thank you, everybody. 5 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:32,319 Thank you, thank you so much. 6 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:36,160 Good evening, hello. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. 7 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:43,439 Now, in the not very olden days, Jaguar had a worldwide reputation for... 8 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:48,559 I was going to say quality - not quality, but quietness, comfort, 9 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:51,159 restrained good looks and value. 10 00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:57,039 Now, though, they've introduced a new car which seems to be only about one thing. 11 00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:59,439 Speed. 12 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:02,199 120. 130. 13 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,280 140. 14 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,839 Into fifth. 15 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,559 150. 16 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,799 160. 17 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,880 170. In a Jag! Come on! 18 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:22,079 Apparently with a long enough runway, it'll hit 186. 19 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:25,280 Woah! This isn't long enough. Help, help! 20 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:37,639 So, welcome to the new XKR-S, 21 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:43,599 the most powerful road car Jaguar has ever made. 22 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:48,919 The supercharged V8 has been re-calibrated and the exhausts beefed-up 23 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:55,279 so that it now fires 542 horsepower at the rear wheels. 24 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:58,440 That's on the edge of Ferrari territory. 25 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:03,559 As a result, it feels and sounds 26 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:09,760 as though it's being fuelled by a blend of plutonium and wild animals. 27 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,720 It's very fast. 28 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,880 And very, very loud. 29 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,479 And then in the corners, 30 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:30,720 it'll get its tail out more readily than George Michael. 31 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,840 There you go. Hit the throttle... 32 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:40,439 A lot of smoke. Ha-ha! 33 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:43,079 It's mad! A mad car. 34 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:47,840 It's like Terry Thomas with a sub-machine gun. 35 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:57,479 To make sure deaf people don't mistake the S for an ordinary XKR, 36 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:01,959 the body has bigger sills, a bigger rear spoiler, 37 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,960 and snowshoes on the bonnet. 38 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,479 It's also got this new downturned nose which makes 39 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:14,759 it look rather disapproving, like a 1950s seaside landlady. 40 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:19,519 And I'm sorry but red brake callipers on a Jag... 41 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:24,199 it's like fitting Camilla Parker Bowles with a vajazzle and rings. 42 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,680 I'm saying this out loud, aren't I? 43 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:34,279 Inside, we find leather designed to look like carbon fibre, 44 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,519 and blue ambient lighting. 45 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:40,439 The walnut from Jags of yesteryear, gone. 46 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:44,439 The gentleman's club has been turned into Grant Bovey's gym. 47 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:47,359 There are other issues, too. 48 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,679 The ride is a bit harsh. 49 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:53,959 Run over a pheasant, and you'd be able to tell if it was a cock or a hen. 50 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:57,479 Then there's the price, it's not what you call cheap. 51 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:01,559 In fact it's what you'd call £97,000, 52 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:05,600 and that's what you'd call nearly 100 grand. 53 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:13,479 So, Jag has sacrificed subtlety, good looks, comfort, silence 54 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:18,600 and value - all its core values - in the pursuit of speed. 55 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:31,839 But if all you're interested in is speed, I wonder, 56 00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:35,440 would you be better off with the Nissan GTR? 57 00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:38,879 This is the new model. 58 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:45,120 More powerful, more aerodynamic and unbelievably even more grippy. 59 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:52,599 We're told it's a masterclass in what's technically possible right now. 60 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:57,639 Built in a hermetically sealed factory, it's the last word 61 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,640 in precision engineering. 62 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:05,679 Every single piece - the brakes, all four wheels, 63 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:09,199 the 3.8 litre twin-turbo engine, 64 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,839 the steering, the new double clutch gearbox, 65 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:16,679 they're all electronically linked to sing the song of speed 66 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,640 in perfect harmony. 67 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:22,919 Let me give you just one example. 68 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,159 The tyres on this car are filled with nitrogen 69 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,399 because ordinary air is considered to be too unstable. 70 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,599 It expands and it contracts too much. 71 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:36,079 And I know what they mean, air drives me mad. 72 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:41,080 It's too big, it's too little. Rrrrr! Air! 73 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:50,840 But can this OCD special really be faster than the bonkers Jag? 74 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,679 The Jag has 20 more horsepowers and 50 more torques, 75 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:01,599 and I know this is lighter and it has launch control, 76 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:07,239 which is what I'm engaging now, but on paper this can't win. 77 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:13,120 Three, two, one! Oh, my God! 78 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:22,320 That was 0-60 in three seconds. 79 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:28,640 The Jag is just a speck. 80 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:35,399 It's funny, the Jag is surprisingly fast because it's a Jag. 81 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,480 This is surprisingly fast because it's surprisingly fast. 82 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:48,719 That was not a win, that was a demolition. 83 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:54,040 I don't think I've ever been in a car that has launched itself quite like that. 84 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,519 And don't think the Jag can get away on the corners either. 85 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:04,080 Here it is now coming through the follow-through as fast as it can. 86 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:12,079 That's 84.8mph. 87 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,919 And here is the Nissan... 88 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:18,199 same corner, same conditions, same driver. 89 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:23,959 That's 93.3mph. 90 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:29,319 So it's 8.5mph faster and that explains why at the Nurburgring, 91 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:34,599 where there are 147 corners, the Jag takes nine minutes to do a lap 92 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:39,639 while the Nissan can get round in seven minutes and 24 seconds. 93 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:44,119 That's faster than almost anything else with a tax disc. 94 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:49,920 This is an incredible car. The new gearbox is spectacularly good. 95 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,239 The engine... Well, it's not an engine, it's just a bomb. 96 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,079 The turbo is crisp and fantastic, 97 00:07:56,080 --> 00:08:03,239 and if you have the chassis and the gearbox and the traction control set in race mode, which they are now, 98 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,399 the grip... 99 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,959 is just mind-boggling. 100 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:13,040 As I shall now demonstrate graphically with my face. 101 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,120 Bloody hell! 102 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,959 All I've got is the PlayStation G reading 103 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:33,640 telling me how much damage this car is doing to my internal organs. 104 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:45,240 Just driving a Nissan. 105 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:56,479 And yet, despite everything, this car produces fewer carbon dioxides than the Jag. 106 00:08:56,480 --> 00:09:03,279 It has seats in the back you can actually use, a bigger boot, 107 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:08,039 and at £69,000, it's nearly £30,000 cheaper. 108 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:09,959 So the conclusion is easy. 109 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:14,879 Why buy a brogue that has been converted into a training shoe, 110 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:18,239 when for much less you can have something that was designed 111 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,000 to be a training shoe in the first place? 112 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,320 Astonishing. 113 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:41,319 Outstanding. What the GTR is, it's an instrument of speed. An instrument. I like it. 114 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:44,999 What about the Jag, not so g...
Dolarkrik