Closer part X Closer part X Rating: R/NC-17-ish Secret Ninja Porn Beta Beta'd. Hm. Quite an odd sentence, that . . . Disclaimer: Not mine, and while I *wish* you could make a living from fanfic, I'm not making any money from this. Seeing as I'm not making any money any other way either, suing me would be seven different kinds of pointless right now. Summary: Plot, w00t! Notes: I'm not proud of this piece of writing. Some things I wrote that I hated grow on me; this didn't. *shrug* I promise I'm not usually this crap ;) All other parts are in my memories. You know I can't let you slide through my hands. - the Sundays, Wild Horses Ed stood in the office almost spitting with fury, all sparks and flaring anger, blazing like a building on fire. "What is this?" he snarled, holding up the piece of paper he'd been handed between finger and thumb like it had been dipped in something particularly repulsive. Milk, perhaps? "It's your new schedule, Fullmetal." Roy said calmly, hands clasped loosely in front of his face, watching him from behind the desk. "My new what? Have you actually scheduled my bedtime? Am I five now or something?" "I have scheduled the latest time you are allowed to remain in the library until. If you're incapable of getting a sensible amount of sleep left to your own devices-" "Why don't you just set me a naptime and get me a bib, you bastard?" "Well, we can certainly arrange for a high chair in the canteen if you wish." For a second Roy thought he'd gone too far and Ed was going to actually throw himself at him and tear him apart bare-handed, but then Ed took in a long breath, eyes never leaving Roy's, and hissed, "Fuck you." "It's hardly asking much of you to leave the library before midnight at least sometimes, Fullmetal." He was actually surprised by how much hurt there was underneath Ed's anger, as if Roy had betrayed him. How? He knew the rules, that whatever they became to each other, this was all they would ever be in this office. Why act now like he didn't understand? Roy was beginning to feel irritated. For a genius Ed could be idiotic, sometimes. "I can take care of myself," Ed said quietly. "Then you shouldn't find that schedule at all difficult to stick to." "Don't you dare treat me like a kid - you - you told me to join this fucking army, don't you fucking dare act like I'm an adult when I enrol and I'm a kid when you-" "This is for your own good, Fullmetal." Ed flushed dark and Roy wondered why that was the wrong thing to say in this situation. "You shit," Ed spat, turning and stamping for the door. Roy raised his head slightly. "I didn't actually dismiss you, Full-" "Then you'd better have me court-martialled so you can control every fucking thing I do, you bastard." Ed bit from the doorway, and slammed it so hard behind himself that the shelves jumped and a stack of paper on Roy's desk dissolved. Well, Roy thought, paper whirling around him like snow. Why he'd been worrying that anyone would notice Ed being more affectionate towards him he didn't know. * Ed's anger hadn't even begun to dissipate by the time he returned to the dormitories, and when Al looked up from his book the balled-up schedule bounced off his helmet, beside the spike. "Broth-?" "He's fucking in league with you!" Ed screeched, kicking the door shut behind him, kicking a stack of books across the room for good measure, and finally the leg of his bed, snapping it like a twig with the automail foot. The bed jolted and sagged. "I'm not a fucking child!" Al unrolled the piece of paper and began reading it. "Ah." "Ah? Is that all you have to say?" "You broke your bed, brother." Ed clapped, knelt and mended the bedpost, then took a bouncing run-up and kicked it into two splintered halves again. "Damn it, damn it, damn it-" "Maybe you should calm down a bit. It's just that everyone's worried about you-" "Fuck it, I'm not a kid! I'm going to the library." Ed snarled, stalking to the door again. "You should be back by-" Al checked the schedule, "-six o' clock for dinner-" The door slammed behind Ed, rattling the window and all of Al's steel plating. He sighed, and looked down at the schedule again. Three thirty: temper tantrum had been mysteriously missed off. * Ed was determined to stay in the library all fucking night if he had to, to prove he could. It was pointless, though, when he couldn't focus on one page, every word buzzing in front of his eyes and nothing but anger in his mind. Bastard. Bastard. Bastard. Ed hated that Mustang had seen him coming up from one of those dreams, hated even more that he thought it meant he now needed to treat Ed like a child. Ed had nearly screamed it in the office, he'd so much wanted to rub Mustang's face in his own hypocrisy. If I'm such a child then why did you come on my face, fucker? His eyes trailed off the page he wasn't even reading. He couldn't say that. He couldn't do that to him. He could imagine Roy's face if he ever used his age against him and he just couldn't do that to him. Not, he realised with a sinking stomach, that Roy would probably ever want to touch him again after today's outburst. Oh God he was stupid. The right way to prove you're adult enough to be treated like one is by screaming like a little kid? "-it's just that everyone's worried about you-" He could have made an adult argument for it. Inspiration can't be switched on and off, you just have to work while you can. Once they started the experiments he'd have to keep whatever hours they dictated anyway and catch some sleep whenever he could. The dreams didn't mean anything, he was used to them, he wasn't actually fucked up, it was just that sometimes it was all too much, just for a moment. It wasn't like he actually planned to work himself to collapse, he just wanted this done, he just wanted Al to have his body and his life back - and he had to put the work in, it was his fault Al had lost his body in the first place . . . He put his elbows on the desk and pressed his palms into his eyes, warm flesh and cold metal. He was an idiot, and Al deserved better than this. He knew Al would forgive him for anything, but that didn't mean he deserved to be forgiven anything, Al was just good like that. He propped his forehead up and stared down at the book in front of him. He would read this essay, he would actually pay attention to this one damned essay, and then he'd go back and apologise to Al for being a brat. And . . . His throat tightened, and he could feel the blood in his cheeks and he was horrified to feel a prickling in his eyes when he thought about Mustang. I'm not sorry I shouted, I'm not, you fucker, I'm not a weak, pathetic little child and I don't need you- "We're closing soon, boy." It was a breathy, low female voice, and Ed blinked up from his book. A pale-skinned librarian with dark violet eyes and wavy black hair pinned up, very female, her femaleness barely contained by her straining blouse. Ed had always found breasts slightly alarming. Apart from everything else, the alienness of them, they were human sources of milk and therefore not to be trusted. "Right." he muttered, closing the book and standing up, blinking his eyes quickly clear. Stupid Mustang. Stupid him for getting caught up thinking about stupid Mustang. "I'll take this one with me." "Lots of books on plant alchemy," the librarian husked, leaning a little too close to his shoulder, and Ed ducked away. "Can I help you find anything you need?" "Nah, it's cool, it's just - a hobby." And then, something about her - "Wait - do I - know you?" "You've probably seen me in the library before." she said, picking up the messy stack of books he'd left on the table. "You're here a lot, aren't you?" "No, I mean-" "Botanical alchemy's so slow," she murmured, running her fingertips across the cover of the top book, and Ed glanced at the movement and thought of Roy - the same cat-smoothness - and blinked back to her eyes quickly. "Don't you think? You can get everywhere so much more quickly with biological alchemy." Ed looked to the side. "Sometimes speed's not the only thing you're worried about," he said. "But life is so short," she said, and gave a slow, sly smile, and turned away with the pile of books, swaying her way to the librarian's desk. Ed stared after her for a moment. He recognised her, he was sure, but - He sighed, swung his coat over his shoulders, and planned an apology to Al in his mind. I'm sorry I'm a brat. You'd be a way better big brother than me. I'm only doing this because I want you to be happy so much - He didn't even think about Mustang. Definitely not. * "Update," Maes said, as Roy glanced at him over his glass, from the quietest corner of the bar. "The quick version, because I know you want to go home and pine for Ed and it gives me more time to tell you about Elysia's new choice of career." "Maes." "Point one." Maes held up a finger, and Roy rolled his eyes and took a drink. Tonight was not going to be his lucky night for actually getting a word in. "Scar sightings are down to zero for the past few weeks. We're still finding bodies here and there but not one sighting." "Which means-" "Which means he's taking out all our witnesses as well, whether it's intentional or not. But the trail of bodies is heading this way, and I want you to be careful." "And to warn the other State Alchemists in the East," Roy murmured. Ed had a habit of tripping into murderers. "Point two." The second finger. "The Fuhrer is visiting the East." "What?" "Not sure why yet, especially considering Scar's heading this way too. Maybe there's some upheaval in Central they're hiding from Intellig...
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