Holding Out For You by ObsessingOverEdward Complete.pdf

Fanfiction based on Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight Series

Rated M for Mature.

Holding Out For You

By ObsessingOverEdward

Summary: After her divorce Bella starts a new life in Carmel with her son. She soon meets a

handsome doctor, who is dealing with his own loss and is struggling to raise his two kids. It’s a story

of finding strength during adversity and learning to love again.

~*~

http://www.freewebs.com/obsessingoveredward/

Chapter 1

Leaving La Push

Bella Swan-Black

“Seth, get in here and finish packing your Legos,” I hollered, as my son sneakily ducked back into my room.

“Where have you been?” He had that look on his face that told me he had been up to something.

“Don‟t be mad mom, please.” I sighed, knowing that whenever his sentence started with „Don‟t be mad‟, it wasn‟t

going to be good. I folded my arms in front of me and waited patiently for him to get the courage to tell me

whatever mischief he‟d been up to now.

“I kind of broke your dolphins.” I groaned inwardly. The dolphins were a graduation present from my father when

I graduated from Cal State University Monterey Bay. They were twelve inch high blown glass of dolphins

jumping over the waves. I closed my eyes, not knowing if I wanted the answer to my next question.

“How did you break them?” I whispered as I opened my eyes and looked at my repentant seven year old. He

lowered his gaze to his shoes while he shoved his hands into the pocket of his jeans.

“Well…Conner got away and so I saw him jumping towards the back door.” He took a big breath before he

continued to weave his tale. “So, I wanted to catch him before he got away. Then Buddy saw him and started

chasing me and Conner. If I didn‟t dive for him, Buddy would‟ve eaten him up.” I rolled my eyes. Buddy was a

smart Golden Retriever except when it came to frogs. He‟d gobble them in one bite and then within ten minutes

they would come right back up.

I waved my hand for him to continue. “I hit the table leg and it fell off. I‟m sorry, mom. I know you liked them

dolphins.” His eyes began to tear up and any anger I had felt melted instantly. This poor child has been through

the wringer over the last two years.

“It‟s okay, Seth. Go finish packing your Legos and take the box out to Grandpa Charlie to put in the truck.” He

walked over and hugged me around the waist.

“I‟m really sorry, momma.” He sobbed into my shirt. I ran my fingers through his spiky jet black hair and held

him close.

“It‟s okay honey.” I pulled him away from me and gave him a „you‟re forgiven‟ smile. “Now hurry up. We have

to leave in a few minutes.” He pulled away from me and ran to his room. I sighed, knowing there was a mess

waiting for me in the dining room.

“Hey Bells, do you want the dining set or not?” I looked at my ex-husband and was struck with a sense of

nostalgia.

“No, you can keep it. I picked up a smaller one last week.” He nodded at me, but had a look like he wanted to

have that discussion again. I held up my hands, stopping him before he started.

“Don‟t go there right now. Seth is in the other room. We can talk about it on the drive down.” He nodded his head

curtly then turned quickly and left me standing in what was once our bedroom. The only thing that remained of

mine was the king sized bed that we bought when we were first married. I didn‟t want the reminder of what we

did on that mattress or worse yet what he is currently doing with her on it.

Jake and I separated after five years of marriage because of his controlling and manipulative personality. That was

almost two years ago. I thought that with Seth and I living with my father, he would finally see that I meant

business when I told him I couldn‟t live with his “rules”.

I still remember the day that I lost all hope of reconciliation. I had stopped by the house unannounced to talk to

him about the latest round of mischief Seth had gotten into. I used my key and let myself in when he didn‟t

answer the door. I immediately heard why he was preoccupied when a dull thumping came from the bedroom. I

stood shocked in the kitchen. He wouldn‟t.

My feet had a mind of their own as they quickly led me to the bedroom door. I placed my hand on the knob and

opened the door slowly. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw the naked back of my husband pounding

passionately into a dark haired beauty. I sucked in my breath and stood there unmoving.

Jake‟s head spun around until he met my gaze, halting the motion he was currently engaged in. I turned and fled

back out the door, stumbling to my car to escape the disgust of what I had witnessed. I slammed my key in the

ignition of my truck and peeled out of the driveway. I looked in my rear view mirror to see Jake fly out of the

house, the sheet from our bed wrapped around his lower half.

I sighed deeply at the memory. A few months ago the thought of Jake‟s betrayal would have been a painful

reminder of love lost. Now it just evoked sadness that my son didn‟t have both parents living in the same home.

Seth had suffered the most during all of our drama. He had always been a curious child and that usually landed

him in trouble, but after the separation, his antics grew more into attention getting schemes. I hated taking him

away from his father. Even though Jake wasn‟t the best husband, he loved and adored Seth. But what choice did I

have?

I can‟t change anything now. Our lives were set on a path that would lead us to California. An old professor had

recommended me for a job at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. It would be great to finally put my Master‟s in Marine

Biology to good use.

I took one more look around the small bedroom and then went in to clean up the mess my dear child made. As I

looked at the shattered dolphins, I couldn‟t help but reflect on the life that I had lived up until this point.

Everything had seemed shattered, just like the dolphins and here I was, picking up the pieces and moving on.

Jake and I started dating when we were Juniors in High School. He took a job as a mechanic right out of school so

he could stay home and take care of his father while I made my way to the University of Washington in Seattle. I

would come home every weekend to spend time with my father and continue my romance with Jake.

It was a sad day when Jake‟s father passed away, three weeks before my graduation. The decision for us to move

to Monterey so I could finish my degree was something that we both wanted. Jake needed to get away from the

constant badgering by the tribal counsel to take his father‟s place as chief. He said he didn‟t want the

responsibility at the time.

Life in Monterey was amazing. We spent our days working or studying and then the evenings would be spent

walking on the beach or occasionally eating out at some of the finest restaurants on the Peninsula. I was so in love

with Jake during our time there, when we found out I was pregnant we were both excited to start the next phase in

our lives.

I was six months pregnant with Seth when I crossed the stage to receive my diploma. I was so happy then. Jake

and I packed up that week and drove back to La Push to start our new lives together. We rushed a very simple

wedding a month before Seth arrived and then settled into our lives as a new happy family.

Jake soon went back to the garage that he managed before we left for Monterey. I didn‟t have to work because his

income was enough for us to get by and we both wanted Seth to have a parent at home. Jake eventually took over

as Chief after the constant persistence from the counsel. That seemed to be when he started to change.

Jake took his responsibility to watch out for the tribe and his family to the extremes. He started to control every

aspect of our lives. He took over paying the bills and gave me a monthly allowance, which I was never allowed to

deviate from. It finally got to a point where I had no idea where we were financially. Then, he would do little

things like check the mileage on my car before and after work and ask me where I went. Once, he even asked the

neighbors to keep an eye on me and let him know if I had anyone over. It was like he didn‟t trust me. It took me a

while before I realized these kinds of things were happening in every aspect of our relationship. He was slowly

trying to make me completely dependent on him.

I refused to be bullied and manipulated into servitude by his insecurities. So, I left. My dad was furious at Jake

and always made sure that he was present whenever Jake would come over.

At first, our separation was a God-send. He was attentive and sweet, like when we first started dating. He would

pick me up for dinner and then charm me with his fun loving nature. Many times during that separation, I would

fall back into his bed with the hope that things would change, only to be rudely awakened when he reverted to his

demanding and selfish ways.

Then she came into the picture. I never told anyone why I filed for divorce the day after finding them together.

Living in a small town, I didn‟t want Seth to hear the sordid details of our relationship. Jake was grateful that I

didn‟t fuel the gossip mongers, and I was thankful that he kept her away from Seth. It had only been a month

since the divorce became final, so we both decided that he would keep his private life private for a while longer.

After the initial shock of the events that brought us to divorce, Jake and I agreed to be friendly for the sake of our

son. I found that we were much better off as friends than we had ever been in the late stages as husband and wife.

Our only argument as of late was about me moving over a thousand miles away.

I needed a clean break. Everything just fell into place when I got a phone call from an old professor I had kept in

touch with. We had taken scuba lessons together while I was in college and hit it off as friends. She called me and

let me know that the Monterey Bay Aquarium was in need of a Marine Biologist to add to their new White Shark

Project. It was really an opportunity of a lifetime to be involved in the research of such a fascinating creature. I

also desperately needed work. My father and Jake took care of us financially, but now that the divorce was final, I

needed a job.

Jake and my father were driving us down to Carmel where I had rented a small cottage on the outskirts of town. It

was unbelievably affordable for being a Carmel rental. There was a large backyard and a very nice elderly couple

that lived in a larger house on the property so we wouldn‟t feel so isolated.

“Ready Bella?” Charlie asked as he came through the front door. I looked around at what used to be my home and

nodded my head.

“As ready as I‟ll ever be.”

“I‟ll take Seth and Buddy in your car while you ride with Jake. He said he had some things he wanted to discuss

with you.” He gave me a look asking me if that arrangement was going to be okay with me. I shrugged my

shoulders.

“I‟ll ride with him for a few hours and then we‟ll switch so he can spend time with Seth before you guys have to

fly back.” I ran back through the house, double checking that I had packed everything I wanted to take. When I

was satisfied that all was in order, I climbed in the cab of the U-haul with Jake. We were silent for an hour before

he spoke.

“Bells, it‟s not too late to change your mind.”

I sighed, knowing that there was no way around having this discussion yet again. Hopefully it would be the last.

“No Jake, I need to take care of myself and Seth. This is the only way.” I looked out the window at the racing

scenery.

“That‟s bullshit Bella, and you know it.” I winced at the hint of anger laced in his voice. “You could have gotten a

job closer. You're taking my son away from me.” I seethed at his remarks and then decided to let him have it.

“I‟m not the one that caused all of this! I‟m doing what I have to do to survive. You stepped out of Seth‟s life the

moment you brought her into your bed!”

“Her name is Leah,” he stated, like it mattered to me what her name is . I rolled my eyes at him and turned to stare

back out the window.

“You know I could take you back to court to keep you here,” he threatened.

“You wouldn‟t dare. I would shred you in court. I have enough proof of your infidelity and people would back me

up that you were unbearable to live with and abusive.” He winced at my words.

“I think I‟m being fair with the visitation arrangement that we agreed to. I could have made things a lot worse for

you, but if you want to play Russian roulette with the courts, then be my guest. It‟ll cost you in the end.” Jake

nodded his head, knowing that my words were not idle threats.

“I‟m sorry, Bells. I don‟t want to fight with you anymore. I want you to be happy. I‟m just going to miss Seth.” I

was always too forgiving, but I couldn‟t help but be affected by the sincerity in his words.

“Me too, Jake. I‟m sorry that we‟re moving away.” I looked at his face as the sun was setting against the

mountains. He was such a handsome man and I would miss those nights of passion that we once shared. Even

though we didn‟t get along now, there was no denying the way he made my body sing.

“I think you should pull over so Seth can spend some time with his daddy.”

He nodded and then took the exit to a rest stop. I switched places with my son and drove the rest of the way in

comfortable silence with Charlie.

We drove straight through the night and arrived at our new home around noon. The cottage was just as I

remembered it. When I had accepted the job offer from the Aquarium, I immediately went in search of a house. I

spent several days going through house after house. Unfortunately, most of them were out of my price range. I

lucked out when my old Professor told me about a friend of hers that had a place opening up. The home had been

built in 1918, but had been recently remodeled. It was only about a thousand square feet but it was big enough for

me and Seth.

Buddy was excited to be out of the cramped confines of the car and was running all over the yard in an ADHD

doggy moment. Jake snarled at him whenever he ran close to him. For some reason, Jake hated Buddy, and I think

the feeling was mutual. Seth and I got him as a puppy right after we moved in with my father. Seth loved him and

Buddy eased some of the guilt I felt at taking Seth away from his father.

We spent the afternoon unloading boxes while Jake put together the bed frames so we would have somewhere to

sleep that night.

I was putting away dishes when I heard a loud scream from the yard.

“Stupid fucking mutt!” Jake was yelling as he walked in holding his bleeding hand.

“What happened?” I said franticly, trying to find the towels to help stop the bleeding. The scent of blood hit my

nose and I had to sit down. Jake walked over to the sink and stuck his hand under the running water.

“He bit me,” Jake growled at me. “Why did you ever get that damn dog in the first place? I would never have

allowed you to get one.” My queasiness was forgotten and the hair on the back of my neck stood up when he

uttered those words.

“You still don‟t get it!” I yelled. He turned around, slightly shocked at my outburst. “That‟s why I left you in the

first place!”

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