[4][41]{y:i}It was the Fall of 2009|and I was a professor now. [41][63]{y:i}So I decided to change my look|a little bit. [64][84]{y:i}And people were noticing. [85][106]Ah, tweed. [107][122]Textile of the eunuch. [123][135]You know, I've always [136][160]Wondered why those tweed jackets|have elbow patches. [160][179]Because the people who wear|them are constantly going, [179][209]"Aw, geez, why can't I get laid?" [220][230]You are wrong. Get laid? [230][249]The ladies dig|the professor look. [250][265]You know, there is|something to that. [266][286]I remember thinking my tenth grade|math teacher [287][308]Was very sexy. [308][328]I wonder if Harold's|still in jail. [329][346]What? [346][372]Tax evasion. [373][386]Among other things. [387][413]So guys, Marshall [414][433]And I wanted to invite|you to our place [433][450]For a little couples' night. [451][474]Uh, sure. Why not? [474][500]{y:i}For years, Marshall and Lily|had been the only [501][526]{y:i}Married couple in a group full|of single people. [526][537]{y:i}It got lonely. [538][550]{y:i}So they were always [550][564]{y:i}Searching|for another couple [565][575]{y:i}To double-date. [576][591]{y:i}There was only one problem. [591][614]Welcome.|Gouda? [614][635]{y:i}They sucked at it. [636][653]This is great. [654][674]We're having fun.|You're having fun, right? [685][700]So, should we|just go ahead [700][721]And lock the four of|us in for new year's? [722][746]Um, it's April. [747][769]Right. Sorry. [769][781]We're getting|ahead of ourselves. [782][794]Let's talk Thanksgiving. [795][826]Our parents really|want to meet you! [866][894]Well, we should|probably be going. [895][910]Wait. But, wait,|if you leave now, [910][927]Colonel mustard|just gets away with it. [928][949]It's getting pretty late.|We're going to go. [949][962]There's still pie. [989][1016]Tonight was fantastic.|We should do it again. [1017][1048]I'm sorry, Marshall,|but Falguni and I [1049][1066]are just not that into you. [1067][1090]And you. [1091][1117]{y:i}But just when Lily and Marshall|were about to give up, [1118][1141]{y:i}Two of their best friends|in the world got together. [1141][1163]{y:i}And hope returned|to their hearts. [1164][1179]Wohoo! [1180][1199]{y:i}So when Lily said... [1200][1225]Marshall and I wanted|to invite you to our place [1226][1242]For a little couples' night. [1243][1266]Um, sure, why not? [1267][1285]{y:i}.Barney and Robin had no idea [1286][1300]{y:i}What they were|about to walk into. [1301][1314]Okay. Game time. [1314][1332]Let's review|the flow of the room. [1333][1356]Barney and Robin|enter here. [1357][1372]Stop here for margaritas. [1373][1389]That's a great|conversation starter. [1389][1409]We can tell them about|our trip to Cabo. [1410][1429]Great, 'cause I got that story|about Sammy Hagar [1430][1449]Anthe Belgian waffle locked|and loaded. [1450][1477]Then we'll move on|to the hot apps station. [1478][1497]And, depending on how|things are going, [1498][1522]Some lively pre-dinner charades. [1523][1563]Right, but, uh,|we'll play that one by... [1564][1577]Sounds like? [1578][1598]Okay, you can be|Robin's partner. [1612][1645]Oh... Baby, we can do this. [1672][1692]Welcome.|Gouda? [1707][1728]{y:i}Meanwhile,|my half-baked theory [1728][1742]{y:i}That ladies dig|the professor look [1742][1758]{y:i}Was actually|proving to be true [1758][1774]So is it hard|to grade papers? [1775][1791]No, you've just got|to make it fun. [1791][1820]For example, uh, every time|I spot a grammatical error, [1821][1834]I do a shot. [1835][1850]I'm trashed right now,|and I blame [1851][1870]Our public school system. [1871][1902]{y:i}Sometimes things just seem|to magically fall into place. [1902][1928]So, you said|you live right upstairs... [1928][1949]{y:i}Whether it's|in the dating world... [1950][1965]Take care. Bye.|Bye! [1966][1990]{y:i}...Or the double-dating world. [1991][2003]Nailed it! [2004][2016]Best night ever! [2032][2057]Worst night ever. [2086][2118]Sync by honeybunny|www.addic7ed.com [2230][2254]Hey, how was the big couples'|night with Marshall and Lily? [2254][2275]Brutal.|Really? How? [2276][2296]It was like we were on a date [2296][2319]With a sad, chubby girl|our mom made us call. [2319][2335]And they were so nervous, [2336][2358]That they weren't even making sense|half of the time. [2358][2371]Hey.|Come on in. [2371][2386]Would you|like a margarita? [2387][2412]In Cabo, I saw Sammy Hagar eating|a Belgian waffle! Come on in. [2432][2468]And they kept shoving platters|of food in our faces. [2469][2484]Did Marshall get, like, [2485][2501]Super intense about the cheese? [2502][2517]Yeah, how'd you know? [2518][2531]Poor Marshall. [2532][2552]Lily's this gourmet cook,|and all she lets Marshall [2552][2581]Is pick out one sad block of cheese. [2581][2600]That's prosciutto-wrapped melon. [2601][2624]You guys are going to want|to get in on this gouda. [2624][2648]That's seared scallops|with a mango chutney. [2649][2667]Seriously, don't sleep|on the gouda. [2667][2678]And that's [2679][2700]Lobster ravioli|in a black truffle oil. [2701][2723]Ooh...|Tick-tock goes the gouda clock. [2737][2763]Um, we-we-we didn't realize|there was gonna be dinner. [2764][2787]We sucked down a couple|tacos outside the subway. [2788][2814]P.S., not|sitting great. [2828][2857]And if anything didn't go|according to plan, [2858][2871]They would freak out. [2871][2897]What do you mean,|the egg timer is broken? [2898][2916]What are we going to use|for charades, sweetie? [2916][2929]I'm working on it, darling. [2930][2944]Okay? Just stall them. [2944][2972]Now, Robin... [2972][2985]You work in television. [2985][3012]We're experiencing some|technical difficulties. [3012][3023]You get that? [3023][3042]We're still laughing. [3042][3074]Right? Laugh, Marshall. [3112][3131]Come on, they just|got excited. [3132][3153]They've been looking for couple|best friends forever. [3154][3173]{y:i}Plus, I'm sure|they weren't that bad. [3184][3194]Show him. [3195][3216]This is a web site [3217][3243]Marshall already made|about last night. [3243][3284]It's called|itwasthebestnightever.com. [3312][3344]* It was the best night ever * [3345][3386]* laughter raining down|like April showers * [3400][3430]* oh, we talked for hours... * [3447][3482]* best night ever *|oh, that's not good. [3482][3510]* Then we played charades * [3511][3545]* Lily made some creme brulee,|lay-lay-lay-lay * [3546][3579]* and now that|we're best couple friends * [3580][3604]* there's only one thing * [3605][3649]* left to say... * [3650][3672]* are you free? Are you free?|Are you free? * [3673][3703]* Are you free?|Are you free next Saturday? * [3704][3725]That's the 17th.|* Are you free? * [3726][3741]Friday or Sunday|would also work. [3741][3768]Or basically any other day. [3769][3799]Needless to say, we've both changed|our e-mail addresses. [3799][3814]I don't understand. [3814][3832]If last night went so horribly, [3832][3855]Why do Lily and Marshall|think it was such a hit? [3856][3875]I mean, we knew we were gonna have|fun tonight, [3876][3896]But we had no idea how much. [3897][3908]Oh.|Yeah, tough luck, [3908][3924]Every Saturday|night I've ever had, [3925][3948]'cause this one just|blew you out of the water. [3948][3970]Let's do it again, soon.|Yeah, we'll call you. [3970][3982]They're your friends! [3982][4007]Why would you just blatantly lie|to them like that? [4008][4033]Well, that's what you say|at the end of a crappy date. [4033][4055]Hey, Ted.|Great time last night. [4056][4081]Well, let's do it again, soon.|I'll... uh, call you. [4099][4118]Right? [4126][4136]Who was that? [4137][4149]Oh, I don't want to brag, [4149][4170]But it seems chicks|are really digging [4171][4183]The whole professor thing. [4184][4194]Last night, [4194][4208]She picked me up at the bar. [4209][4235]And then...|Well, she actually [4236][4251]Wound up falling asleep|on the couch. [4252][4284]But, hey, that happens. [4285][4300]Uh, no, it doesn't. [4300][4312]Sure, it does. [4313][4326]You know, she was, [4326][4349]She was just exhausted|from being turned on. [4349][4361]But you heard her. [4361][4390]She wants to do it again, soon. [4391][4414]Ted, let me ask you a question. [4415][4439]Where does this girl|live, exactly? [4440][4450]Westchester. Why? [4485][4499]You're the sexless innkeeper. [4500][4518]Oh, my god!|You're right! [4518][4533]He's totally|the sexless innkeeper! [4533][4561]What the hell is|"the sexless innkeeper"? [4562][4595]Ted, many a man--|nay, many a soul-- [4596][4619]Has their own tale of|the sexless innkeeper. [4620][4646]Why, I had run-in|with one just last year. [4647][4666]I even composed|a poem about it. [4667][4685]Would you care to hear it?|Not really. [4686][4703]T'was the night|before new year's, [4704][4726]And the weather grew mean. [4726][4744]It was 3:00 in the morning, [4744][4770]And I was stranded in queens. [4771][4796]{y:i}The tavern grew empty, [4798][4821]{y:i}The gas lights grew dim. [4822][4859]{y:i}The horse-drawn carriages|were all but snowed in... [4859][4872]Wait. If this was last year, [4872][4890]{y:i}Why are you acting like it|was Oliver Twist? [4891][4915]Ted, it's a poem. [4928][4944]{y:i}Last call was approaching, [4945][4965]{y:i}And my fortunes looked bleak. [4966][4988]{y:i}Then I turned to my left [4989][5012]{y:i}And stifled a shriek. [5013][5036]{y:i}She had a peach fuzz beard [5037][5064]{y:i}And weighed 16 stone. [5065][5084]{y:i}She gobbled up hot wings [5085][5110]{y:i}And swallowed the bones. [5110][5126]{y:i}I muffled a scream [5127][5148]{y:i}And threw up in my mouth. [5149][5174]{y:i}I asked, "where do you live?" [5175][5207]{y:i}And she said,|"one block south." [5207][5235]{y:i}I swallowed my pride [5236][5264]{y:i}And six shots of whiskey. [5288][...
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