A Manual of Etiquette with Hints on Politeness and Good Breeding, 1884.pdf

A Manual of Etiquette

With Hints on Politeness

and Good Breeding

Daisy Eyebright

A MANUAL OF ETIQUETTE

WITH HINTS ON POLITENESS AND GOOD BREEDING

“DAISY EYEBRIGHT”

“There’s nothing in the world like etiquette,

In kingly chambers or imperial halls,

As also at the race and county balls.”

BYRON

PREFACE

MEN often speak of good manners as an accomplishment . I speak of

them as a duty. What, then, are good manners? Such manners as the

usages of society have recognized as being agreeable to men. Such

manners as take away rudeness, and remit to the brute creation all

coarseness. There are a great many who feel that good manners are

effeminate. They have a feeling that rude bluntness is a great deal

more manly than good manners. It is a great deal more beastly. But

when men are crowded in communities, the art of living together is

no small art. How to diminish friction; how to promote ease of

intercourse; how to make every part of a man’s life contribute to the

welfare and satisfaction of those around him; how to keep down

offensive pride; how to banish the rasping of selfishness from the

intercourse of men; how to move among men inspired by various

and conflictive motives, and yet not have collisions — this is the

function of good manners.

Not only is the violation of good manners inexcusable on ordinary

grounds, but it is sinful. When, therefore, parents and guardians and

teachers would inspire the young with a desire for the manners of

good society, it is not to be thought that they are accomplishments

which may be accepted or rejected. Every man is bound to observe

the laws of politeness. It is the expression of good-will and kindness.

It promotes both beauty in the man who possesses it, and happiness

in those who are about him. It is a religious duty, and should be a

part of religious training.

There is a great deal of contempt expressed for what is called

etiquette in society. Now and then there are elements of etiquette

which perhaps might well be ridiculed; but in the main there is a just

reason for all those customs which come under the head of etiquette.

There is a reason which as regard to facility of intercourse. There is a

reason in the avoidance of offense. There is a reason in comfort and

happiness. And no man can afford to violate these unwritten

customs of etiquette who wishes to act as a Christian gentleman.