MY NAME IS Chorus: repeat 2X Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?) My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?) My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady Ahem.. excuse me! Can I have the attention of the class for one second? Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!) Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!) Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!) Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (Huh?) My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin to get my head straight but I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..) And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!" Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man you wasted!" Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast C'mere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!) I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off! Chorus My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high Thanks a lot, next semester I'll be thirty-five I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler and stapled his nuts to a stack of papers (Owwwwwwww!) Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup Extraterrestrial, runnin over pedestrians in a spaceship while they screamin at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!" Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to I just found out my mom does more dope than I do (Damn!) I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!) You know you blew up when the women rush your stands and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!) This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph (Dude, can I get your autograph?) So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!' Chorus [Eminem] Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!) Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE! I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (Fuck that!) I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive (Huh yup!) Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead) All my life I was very deprived I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide (Whoops!) Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too) I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (C'mere) When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!) YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! (WAHHH!) I lay awake and strap myself in the bed Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!) I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!) And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?) Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had Chorus GUILTY CONSCIENCE "Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old. Fed up with life and the way things are going, he decides to rob a liquor store." (I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes) "But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart. And suddenly, his conscience comes into play..." (Shit is mine, I gotta do this.. gotta do this) Alright, stop! (Huh?) Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store and try to get money out the drawer You better think of the consequence (But who are you?) I'm your motherfuckin conscience That's nonsense! Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs Tell her you need a place to stay You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with an aged razor blade Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you Think about it before you walk in the door first Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch! Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich? Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch? Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids? Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!) Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!)Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude.. (It's alright c'mon, just come in here for a minute) (Mmm, I don't know!) (Look baby..) (Damn!) (Yo, it's gonna be alright, right?) (Well OK..) "Meet Stan, twenty-one years old." (Give me a kiss!) "After meeting a young girl at a rave party, things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom. Once again, his conscience comes into play..." (Shit!) Now listen to me, while you're kissin her cheek and smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe.. Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair Yo, look at her bush.. does it got hair? (Uh huh!) Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie 'Kids'? No, but I seen a porno with Sondoobie in Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail? Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail.. "Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker. After coming home from a hard day's work, he walks in the door of his trailer park home to find his wife in bed with another man." (WHAT THE FUCK?!?!) ("Grady!!") Alright calm down, relax, start breathin.. Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin'! While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?! FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!! Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit? What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?! Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady But think about the baby before you get all crazy Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her? Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her? That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??! What'chu say? What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember? I'ma kill you motherfucker! Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper! Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.? Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way? How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent? Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went Been there, done that.. aw fuck it... What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at? BRAIN DAMAGE Scalpel Here Sponge Here Wait.. he's convulsing, he's convulsing! Ah! We're gonna have to shock him! Oh my! Oh my God! We're gonna have to shock him! Oh my God! These are the results of a thousand electric volts A neck with bolts, "Nurse we're losin him, check the pulse!" A kid who refused to respect adults Wore spectacles with taped frames and a freckled nose A corny lookin white boy, scrawny and always ornery Cause I was always sick of brawny bullies pickin on me And I might snap, one day just like that I decided to strike back and flatten every tire on the bike rack (Whosssssh) My first day in junior high, this kid said, "It's you and I, three o'clock sharp this afternoon you die" I looked at my watch it was one twenty "I already gave you my lunch money what more do you want from me?!?" He said, "Don't try to run from me, you'll just make it worse..." My palms were sweaty, and I started to shake at first Something told me, "Try to fake a stomach ache it works" I screamed, "Owww! My appendix feels like they could burst! Teacher, teacher, quick I need a naked nurse!" "What's the matter?" "I don't know, my leg, it hurts!" "Leg?!? I thought you said it was your tummy?!?" "Oh, I mean it is, but I also got a bum knee!" "Mr. Mathers, the fun and games are over. And just for that stunt, you're gonna get some extra homework." "But don't you wanna give me after school detention?" "Nah, that bully wants to beat your ass and I'ma let him." Chorus: repeat 2X Brain damage, ever since the day I was born Drugs is what they used to say I was on They say I never knew which way I was goin But everywhere I go they keep playin my song Brain damage.. Way before my baby daughter Hailey I was harassed daily by this fat kid named D'Angelo Bailey An eighth grader who acted obnoxious, cause his father boxes so everyday he'd shove me in the lockers One day he came in the bathroom while I was pissin And had me in the position to beat me into submission He banged my head against the urinal til he broke my nose, Soaked my clothes in blood, grabbed me and choked my throat I tried to plead and tell him, "We shouldn't beef" But he just wouldn't leave, he kept chokin me and I couldn't breathe He looked at me and said, "You gonna die honkey!" The principal walked in (What's going on in here?) and started helpin him stomp me I made them think they beat me to death Holdin my breath for like five minutes before they finally left Then I got up and ran to the janitor's storage booth Kicked the door hinge loose and ripped out the four inch screws Grabbed some sharp objects, brooms, and foreign tools "This is for every time you took my orange juice, or stole my seat in the lunchroom and drank my chocolate milk. Every time you tipped my tray and it dropped and spilt. I'm gettin you back bully! Now once and for good." I cocked the broomstick back and swung hard as I could and beat him over the head with it til I broke the wood Knocked him down, stood on his chest with one foot.. .. M...
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