{375}{428}Wishin' and hopin' {431}{479}And thinkin' and prayin' {482}{621}Plannin' and dreamin'|each night of his charms {624}{719}That won't get you into his arms {722}{824}So if you're lookin' to find love {827}{936}You can share {939}{981}All you've got to do is {984}{1053}Hold him and kiss him and love him {1056}{1180}And show him that you care {1183}{1281}Show him that you care just for him {1284}{1332}Do the things {1335}{1399}He likes to do {1402}{1506}Wear your hair just for him {1509}{1549}Because {1552}{1589}You won't get him {1592}{1668}Thinkin' and a-prayin'... {1671}{1708}What about a pork pie, Mum? {1711}{1773}Certainly not, Nigel.|Pork pies are common. {1819}{1915}What about some fresh cheese?|Don't be silly,|you don't know where it's been. {1918}{2002}I'll have some nice Dairylea slices. {2005}{2028}Right you are. {2031}{2105}'My mother was|always averse to fresh produce. {2108}{2225}'I'm Nigel, I'm nine years old|and I've never had a vegetable|that didn't come in a tin.' {2228}{2282}Thank you, Mrs Slater.|Come on, Nigel. {2361}{2439}Come on! What on earth|have you been doing? {2467}{2506}Oh, come on. {2595}{2691}'It must have been|the lack of nutrients that|gave my father his fiery temper. {2694}{2779}'He was not a sweet man,|despite a very sweet tooth.' {2782}{2832}Not like that, man! {2935}{3058}'My mother's sweet nature made up|for her inability to cook,|or even make a sandwich. {3125}{3236}'When you're deprived of something,|it just makes you all|the more hungry for it.' {3435}{3524}Can we make the cake, then?|If we have to. {3620}{3653}Oh! {3656}{3690}HE GIGGLES {3693}{3732}What does that say? {3777}{3863}I can't even read this. Right, flour. {3915}{3943}16 ounces. {3946}{3971}Ooh! {4006}{4054}I think that's enough. {4057}{4090}Oh, yes, sieve it. {4093}{4172}And some butter. {4175}{4218}Oh. {4221}{4254}Mum... {4257}{4321}Oh, dear. Daddy will be pleased. {4324}{4356}Mum, let me do it. {4499}{4554}Shh, listen. {4910}{4990}Don't worry, we'll cheer it up|with a little icing. {5174}{5212}It's not too bad. {5256}{5296}SIZZLING {5321}{5359}Mum, the dinner! {5362}{5410}SHE SIGHS {5413}{5471}They're all burnt. {5474}{5536}I think I'd better make some toast. {5835}{5950}'No matter how bad things get,|it's impossible not to love|someone who made you toast. {5953}{6059}'Once you've bitten|through that crusty surface|to the soft dough underneath {6062}{6139}'and tasted the warm, salty butter,|you're lost forever.' {6291}{6322}More tea, anyone? {6655}{6688}Oh. {6770}{6809}Aaah. {6851}{6901}Mmm. {7021}{7063}Aaah... {7066}{7106}What you doing? Oh! {7109}{7180}Nothing. Go to sleep, young man. {7458}{7505}Aaah. {7543}{7590}Oooh. {7683}{7727}Mmm. {7769}{7820}Right, I'm off. {8058}{8135}You don't suppose there's anything|wrong with him, do you? {8416}{8487}There you go.|And was it a pound of streaky bacon? {8490}{8526}Yes, please. {8624}{8720}There you go, Mrs Patten. Thank you. {8746}{8804}Yes, Mr Salt?|A pound of Caerphilly, please. {8807}{8830}Right. {8922}{8955}Anything else I can get you? {8958}{9025}Some raspberries, please.|Right you are. {9028}{9079}ENGINE APPROACHES {9495}{9531}Hi, Nige. {10137}{10178}Let's get to work, then. {10248}{10288}'What are you doing?' {10291}{10338}Making compost. {10389}{10423}What's compost? {10456}{10559}Sort of nature's way of melting|everything together. {10562}{10587}Come here. {10618}{10666}Give us your hand. {10669}{10784}Right, feel that. It's hot!|Cool, eh? {10787}{10875}Everything breaking down|lets all the goodness out. {10878}{10935}That's what I love about gardens. {10938}{10975}What? {10978}{11047}They're alive. {11050}{11112}How do you mean, alive? Come here. {11115}{11149}NIGEL GIGGLES {11152}{11276}Right now, there's|100,000 biological reactions|going on all around us. {11279}{11335}Thousands of new things being born. {11338}{11449}All these smells and tastes -|no wonder it's an assault|on the senses. {11452}{11524}That's what nature's|all about, ain't it? {11527}{11565}What? {11568}{11603}Get on. {11650}{11696}Right. {11699}{11738}Smell this. {11741}{11781}Do you know what that's called? {11846}{11885}NIGEL SNIFFS {11888}{11930}Go on. Have a guess. {11933}{12025}I don't know. Well,|what does it make you think of? {12063}{12128}Parma Violets? {12131}{12214}Pleasure. Pleasure? Yeah. {12217}{12253}Cool, eh? {12405}{12441}HE SNIFFS {12665}{12743}Can you really eat them like that?|Aren't they dirty? {12746}{12847}There's plenty of things|they'll tell you is dirty|that won't do you any harm. {12850}{12933}In fact, most of them's good|for you in my opinion. Such as? {12936}{13001}Gardening. {13004}{13034}What do they taste like? {13092}{13149}You don't know unless you try. {13152}{13200}Please yourself. {13203}{13250}DOOR OPENS|Nigel? {13253}{13323}Nigel, come on. {13395}{13433}'A tin of braised beef,' {13436}{13510}a tin of sponge pudding|and a tin of mixed veg, please. {13513}{13558}Can we have spaghetti bolognese? {13588}{13667}I beg your pardon, Nigel?|Spaghetti bolognese. {13670}{13749}It's from Italy.|The sauce comes in a tin. {13752}{13834}I wouldn't know how|to cook such a thing. {13837}{13868}I'll show you. {13871}{13928}Are you sure this is a good idea? {13959}{13998}You have to put it IN the pan. {14194}{14221}What on earth's this? {14224}{14310}It's spaghetti bolognese.|It's Italian. Italian? {14350}{14433}What the hell's wrong with you,|Nigel? It's rock hard. {14436}{14467}It isn't cooked yet. {14548}{14601}Stupid idea if you ask me. {14717}{14762}See, I told you it wouldn't fit. {14875}{14936}What the hell's this? Cheese. {14939}{15008}Percy Salt said you have to|put it on or it doesn't work. {15011}{15043}HE SNIFFS {15046}{15104}It smells like sick. Alan! {15215}{15269}I don't think so. {15481}{15539}Here goes. {15711}{15777}Mmm, it's delicious. {15803}{15848}You twiddle it round. {16128}{16166}I think it's off. {16366}{16427}Nigel, get Mum's bag. {16463}{16498}Get Mum's bag! {16620}{16671}Well, come on, Nigel! {16738}{16790}Stupid boy! Come on. {17651}{17714}I think I'd better make some toast. {17747}{17785}'I think she's pregnant.' {17788}{17811}Pregnant? {17814}{17856}It's to do with her breathing. {17859}{17953}Breathlessness, nausea. I'm telling|you, it's the same as my mum. {17956}{18029}Sick all the time for no reason,|picky with food. {18032}{18075}Nine months later, hello! {18078}{18122}Out pops our Julie. {18125}{18179}How do you think she got pregnant? {18182}{18217}For Pete's sake, Nigel. {18220}{18279}I don't think they've had...|WHISPERS: ..sex {18282}{18352}for years. You'd be surprised. {18390}{18456}Oh, milk. I think|I'm going to throw up. {18459}{18532}Hey, I'll have it if|you're not going to drink it. {18535}{18613}What's it worth?|I'll show you me knickers. {18616}{18653}I'd let you see my willy. {18656}{18793}What? Then if you give me your|puddings, I'll give you a feel. {18796}{18846}Well, actually,|I go home for dinners. {18849}{18910}Well, just bear it in mind|for the future. {19002}{19065}Here. You can have it for nowt. {19068}{19104}The offer's there, Nigel. {19107}{19150}SHE SIGHS IN EXASPERATION {19179}{19248}'Josh, how can you tell|if someone's pregnant?' {19251}{19359}Well, you ain't been messing|about with someone, have you?|Not me, my mam. {19362}{19400}Your mam. {19403}{19455}She keeps getting sick all the time. {19495}{19552}Well, she doesn't|look very pregnant, Nige. {19555}{19614}I hope not. {19617}{19675}What's wrong with|being pregnant anyways? {19678}{19716}I'm scared that... {19758}{19872}..if she goes into hospital, I'll|have to be looked after by my dad. {19875}{19931}DISTANT THUNDER RUMBLES {20012}{20074}RAIN PATTERS {20099}{20146}Oh, no. I'd better go inside. {20149}{20187}Why? {20190}{20241}I love it when|it rains in the summer. {20373}{20440}Anyway, what's|the matter with your dad? {20443}{20487}I don't think he likes me. {20490}{20554}Don't be daft, what's not to like? {20557}{20622}I think he thinks there's|something wrong with me. {20722}{20760}THUNDER CRASHES {20763}{20813}BOTH LAUGH {21071}{21137}You daft bugger! Come on. {21140}{21171}Come on, Nige. {21174}{21226}JOSH LAUGHS {21543}{21592}Put that on till these dry. {21764}{21812}There's nothing wrong|with you, Nigel. {21815}{21880}Everything's going to be OK. {21952}{21978}Here. {22154}{22187}I love a pork pie, me. {22348}{22396}Hurry up, Nigel! {22399}{22460}Oh, come on, come on! {22512}{22563}CAR ENGINE REVS {22653}{22704}NIGEL YAWNS {22782}{22832}ENGINE REVS AGAIN {22967}{23072}Are we nearly there yet? Nigel, we|haven't even left Wolverhampton yet. {23075}{23126}Do we have to go to Penarth? {23129}{23201}It's very good for the air. {23204}{23276}Just try to enjoy yourself, Nigel. {23279}{23318}For your mother's sake. {23411}{23452}There's nothing to do in Penarth. {23455}{23493}Nonsense. {23496}{23578}It's the premier resort|on the Welsh coast. {23581}{23617}THUNDERCLAP {23648}{23683}It could be worse. {23686}{23737}They say it's going|to pick up tomorrow. {23740}{23783}Oh, struth. {23786}{23841}SINGING {23989}{24039}THEY CONTINUE TO SING {24075}{24136}Come on, Nigel. Nigel! {24175}{24238}Sit up, Nigel. Tomato, anybody? {24278}{24349}You don't have to have salad cream|if you don't want it. {24430}{24509}Do I have to have ham? Course|you bloody well have to have ham. {24512}{24565}You're on holiday.|Nigel, you like ham. {24568}{24644}I know I like ham,|I just don't like the jelly. {24647}{24767}Can't we go and get fish and chips?|Look, just eat, for God's sake.|For your mother. {24806}{24846}CHILD LAUGHS IN DELIGHT {24889}{25012}Look at that! Absolutely disgusting.|Letting ...
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