Useful one-liners IN THE OFFICE.txt

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2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
29. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

31. You!... Off my planet!

33. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

35. Allow me to introduce my selves.

37. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

40. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

42. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realise you haven't fallen asleep   

      yet.

43. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

45. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

46. Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.

50. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
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