{1}{100}www.napiprojekt.pl - nowa jakoœæ napisów.|Napisy zosta³y specjalnie dopasowane do Twojej wersji filmu. {1400}{1525}Hello and welcome to this, the Top Gear|post-nuclear apocalypse bunker. {1529}{1647}Can we also say straightaway|that we're very sorry about our appearance, {1651}{1758}but we were outside|minding our own business having a picnic {1761}{1805}when this happened. {2073}{2123}To be honest, the only reason we survived {2126}{2194}was because we had our backs|to the massive blast. {2197}{2283}But survive we did,|and we've been sitting here wondering {2287}{2357}what will motoring be like|in a post-apocalyptic world? {2361}{2521}Well, fortunately, the holocaust occurred right at|the beginning of the Christmas gifting period, {2524}{2626}so post-apocalyptic motoring is exactly|the subject we shall be tackling {2630}{2712}in this cheerful yuletide DVD. {2731}{2759}(People screaming) {2762}{2919}(Richard So, settle back as we show you how|to get to work in the perpetual darkness {2923}{2961}of a nuclear winter. {2964}{3039}(James) Oh, God.|( Richard) Oh, no. {3145}{3269}How to survive the ruthless|post-apocalyptic MOT test... {3272}{3309}I 'm stuck! {3344}{3429}Oh, mate, you ' re gonna fail at that rate,|you're not doing well. {3485}{3609}..how to keep motor racing alive|with just two racing drivers... {3612}{3650}No! Bad! Bad! {3728}{3822}..and with only one barrel of petrol left|on the planet, {3826}{3928}we 'll be choosing the cars we 'd take|our very last drives in. {4235}{4402}But we begin with the issue of driving in the|phenomenon known as '"The Nuclear Winter'". {4405}{4517}Th is is wh at scientists believe will h appen|i n the aftermath of a n uclear war, {4520}{4648}when m illions and m illions of tons of dust|and ash are thrown up into the atmosphere {4650}{4712}by the explosion of all the nuclear weapons, {4715}{4809}plunging the world into|an eternal icy darkness {4812}{4896}that goes on for years and years and years. {4900}{5007}When all of humanity, all of its love,|its art and its science, {5010}{5072}is wiped out forever. {5109}{5134}Yeah. {5137}{5242}If you are watching this on Christmas day|and that's put a dampener on things... {5245}{5274}sorry. {5277}{5356}Yes, he does have a point|but it is a very important issue {5360}{5415}and scientists have wondered... {5418}{5468}how will we drive to work? {5605}{5714}To you, this might look like a scene|from 28 Days Later. {5770}{5855}But it's not, because we've never actually|seen that film. {5858}{5963}What th is is is London in the nuclear winter. {5966}{6067}Now, try to imagine a world where the sun|is permanently blotted out, {6070}{6150}a world where you cannot see|your hand in front of your face, {6153}{6251}a world where ELO could not possibly|have written Mr Blue Sky. {6254}{6363}Yeah. Do please try and imagine that|because it would help us enormously. {6367}{6448}As you can see, there is in fact still,|quite a lot of light around. {6451}{6548}Nevertheless, it's our job to demonstrate|how hard it would be to commute {6551}{6592}during a nuclear winter, {6595}{6682}which is why we shall be trying|to get to work in these. {6748}{6822}These two cars have been totally blacked out {6825}{6907}to replicate the driving conditions|of a nuclear winter, {6910}{7015}and our job is to drive to work|from opposite ends of London {7018}{7119}and to get there without hitting each other,|or anything. {7136}{7203}But it' s n ot q u ite as g ri m as it sou n d s,|is it, H a m mon d? {7206}{7337}N o. Becau se th an kfu lly, scientists believe one|of the few th ings to survive a nuclear holocaust {7341}{7382}would be satnav systems. {7386}{7452}So, with the help of these handy devices, {7455}{7523}we should be able to drive blind. {7535}{7596}James, if you'd like to drive to the other side|of town and get into position, {7599}{7634}- we can get started.|- Righto. {7917}{8060}Yeah. Obviously in a real nuclear winter|situation, that wouldn't work. {8138}{8253}Soon our cars were parked in opposite ends|of London and ready to go. {8356}{8471}- Am I moving? Yes, I 'm moving.|- (Satnav) After 300 yards, turn left, {8474}{8542}then take the second right. {8616}{8714}Rig ht. Now, the satnav|is telling me straight on, {8717}{8761}so straight on it is. {8779}{8853}Erm... bit of left. {8857}{8903}(Satnav) After 300 yards... {8906}{8938}(Crunch) {8941}{8987}Ooh. That's not good. {8990}{9027}.. then take the second right. {9046}{9111}After 200 yards, turn right. {9114}{9266}That's wrong. I know it's ridiculous to argue|with a satnav when you can't actually see, but... {9284}{9364}Oh, I think I might have...|Go a bit harder right. {9408}{9499}- Oh! Ow!|- Turn left, then turn left. {9539}{9606}Bear right, then turn right. {9637}{9729}OK, I 'm negotiating a curve by satnav. {9784}{9817}Turn right. {9820}{9891}I think I 'll just back it up. {9908}{9984}Obviously if your car is pulling slightly|to the left or right, {10069}{10140}and I don't think you can get your wheels|balanced and your tyres checked {10143}{10217}in a post-holocaust scenario. {10221}{10278}OK, I think we're back on the road. {10319}{10355}No, I'm not. {10416}{10485}After 200 yards, turn right. {10488}{10610}I need to do a bit of a...|There's a slight delay in the satnav. {10628}{10739}I'm trying to feel it, I'm trying to feel|the vibes coming off obstructions. {10758}{10826}Something very, very rough there. {10840}{10876}Satnav says straight ahead. {10880}{10922}- (Thud)|- Eurgh. {10926}{10972}That's not right, is it? {10974}{11030}- James?|- Hello? {11033}{11117}Is it my imagination or is this the hardest thing|we've ever tried to do? {11120}{11159}Ah! {11162}{11267}(James) It's absolutely impossible. Oh God,|sorry, I'm gonna have to deal with this. {11307}{11357}- Go around the roundabout...|- No! {11360}{11417}-..third exit...|- No. {11421}{11504}- Turn right.|- No wonder people get all hot under the collar {11507}{11579}about nuclear war and stuff, this is tricky! {11614}{11652}Oh. {11655}{11716}No, that's wrong, clearly. {11719}{11745}Oh dear. {11756}{11833}- (Crunch)|- Ah, it's not a good sound, is it? {11883}{11947}(Richard) Eventually though,|after a bit of practice {11950}{12023}we started to get in tune with the satnavs. {12048}{12119}(Satnav) After 50 yards, turn right. {12131}{12254}I ' d say th is was g oi n g reason ab ly well so far,|b ut I can 't afford to relax. {12257}{12387}Because experts pred ict that|fallout and rad iation from the blast {12390}{12454}will cause unusually large numbers of people {12457}{12568}to go to Argos and buy bouncy castles|and try and carry them home on the bus. {12721}{12808}It is also possible|that during the atomic blast, {12811}{12945}massive pyramids of things like baked beans|and tomato soup in supermarkets {12948}{13058}will have been blown into the sky and then will|have reassembled themselves on the road, {13061}{13198}- which is an obvious hazard.|- In 200 yards, turn left, then turn left. {13201}{13314}Scientists also believe that in the future,|people driven mad by radioactivity {13317}{13428}will start building flat- pack bedrooms|right in the middle of the road. {13511}{13585}After 100 yards, turn left. {13744}{13827}Do you think it might have been|beans or soup? {13830}{13895}Could be worse, there could be fireworks|lying around. {14010}{14047}(Fireworks booming and whistling) {14263}{14368}After several more brushes with|nuclear winter-related obstacles, {14372}{14462}James and I had almost reached|our place of work. {14481}{14568}(Satnav) Turn left then...|You have reached your destination. {14571}{14622}Ah! Ah a! Ah a! {14645}{14735}Turn right then...|You have reached your destination. {14739}{14862}H ow comforti n g a sou n d wou ld th at be|on you r n u clear winter com m ute to work? {14865}{14923}(Crash ) {14948}{15001}- James! James!|- What? {15004}{15048}I've crashed. {15052}{15131}You crashed into something|or were you crashed into? {15134}{15191}I think something just crashed into me. {15203}{15284}I think something crashed into me. {15287}{15354}- Sound your horn.|- (Beep) {15357}{15391}(Beep) {15394}{15471}- (James) That's you.|- Yeah, we've crashed... Oh. {15475}{15614}Well, erm, let's wait until some|post-apocalyptic nuclear winter police arrive. {15618}{15671}(Siren blaring) {15866}{15906}(Crash) {15930}{15970}I think the police might be here. {15973}{16077}Then some other nuclear survivors|arrived for work. {16139}{16185}(James) God, now what? {16211}{16280}This is the nuclear rush hour|of the nuclear winter {16283}{16347}Nobody expected that! {16351}{16408}(Siren blaring) {16516}{16565}(James) Oh, God.|(Richard) Oh, no. {16711}{16753}Hang on. {16756}{16790}I think I can smell petrol. {17098}{17221}In the radioactive aftermath, those of us|who have been lucky enough to survive {17224}{17293}will inevitably start asking questions. {17296}{17399}'Did any of my friends survive? '|'Did any of my relations? ' {17402}{17498}'Will civilisation as we knew it ever return? ' {17525}{17581}Yes. And quite right too. {17584}{17707}But if you're a petrol head, you'll find yourself|facing a much more important question. {17710}{17810}Namely this -|eventually, in a post-apocalyptic world, {17813}{17896}there will be only one barrel of petrol left. {17899}{18025}And which cars would you put it in|to go for your very last ever drives? {18028}{18097}Yes, this is a cracker of a dilemma, {18100}{18230}and one that scientists will debate in|post-apocalyptic pubs for many years to come. {18233}{18301}But we've decided to have a crack at it now {18305}{18454}by choosing those cars in which|we would have our very last drives. {18657}{18...
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