LEGEND:
~ means it contains some personal notes or conclusions made by me, you can replaces them with your own
xxx means that this is an active part of this workbook, you replace those XXX with answers of your own
"Quotes" means it’s a transcribtion directly from the audio
[5] is a rating of how usefull I've found the particular audio segment to ME, replaces this with your own rating for further referencing, re-listening to the system
{5} is a rating of how usefull I've found the particular reading segment to ME, replaces this with your own rating for further referencing, re-listening to the system
nonquote regular, non-quoted text is ussually a summary of the points made in the particular audio segment
TRACK 1-1 [0] {0} Intro
What Makes This Program Special?
It's the most comprehensive program available specifically focused on helping you learn how to approach women and start conversations... with maximum success, and minimum rejection.
I'm going to have several guest speakers who are EXPERTS on this topic, from a team of women that call themselves the "WinGirls"... these women actually go out with guys, bring men over to meet them, and then teach guys how to do it themselves... to a guy who's billed as the "World's Greatest Pickup Artist"... and everything in between.
You're going to get to meet a man who I consider one of the world's leading experts on overcoming fear, anxiety, and personal barriers to success... and you're going to meet a friend of mine who has overcome incredible challenges in his life, and gone on to become an amazing success story...
First, we're going to cover the INNER GAME of approaching women. We're going to talk about the uncontrollable fear and anxiety that men experience... and we're going to talk about the reality of what happens when men approach women...
Next, we're going to get into mindsets and techniques to help you successfully approach women in every type of situation... and finally you're going to get more techniques and "pick up lines" than you can handle... or use... from me and my special guest speakers.
When you're finished with this program, you're going to have a new set of tools and "secret weapons" that will allow you to approach women, start conversations, and get more dates...
So, to begin with, in my typical style... I'm going to give you a bunch of important theory and some key concepts... and I'm going to let my guests fill in some of the gaps and give you specific techniques.
This Is Entertainment [3:18] [0] {0}
This is not advice.
This is entertainment.
You are responsible for yourself and your actions.
Why Is This Topic So Powerful? [3:18] [0] {0}
Why approaching women?
Why is THIS subject so important?
Why do we invest so much mental and emotional energy in this area?
Why do we have so much fear around it?
Why do we constantly look for the latest and best techniques?
Why do we want to learn this SO BAD?
"You often hear me saying things like… if you're not succesfull approaching women, if you're not succesfull dating women, then you have a kind of a deep-seated fear or insecurity " ~Does this mean that the 95% of people on this earth who neither approach women, nor are playboys… are deeply INSECURE OR… on the other hand, does it mean that the ALL people who ARE succesfull, must be very secure, confident and advanced human beings? The answer to both is no I think~
"And all of a sudden it goes from just being something you'd just like to learn, TO being the new symbol of all the challenges in your life."
TRACK 1-2 [2] {2} Intro
Approaching Women is the "Agora" [3:18] [2] {2}
In ancient Greece, the "Agora" was the central meeting place.
It was the literal intersection of many routes, as well as the figurative intersection of business, politics and philosophy.
Approaching women is the "Agora" of dating.
It's where everything meets... and it's the place that has potentially the greatest impact on your bigger picture and overall success with women and dating.
I see approaching as the place where all our fears, all our desires, all of our planning and learning, all of our skills, and all of our abilities to face our challenges in life come together in reality.
Spend 90 days focused with these materials and using them every day.
"It's where all the work you've done on yourself, inside, and all the results that you're going to have later on, they all come together, they all meet in that one place."
"If you handle this, youll find that it'll start spreading to other areas of your life… That kind of core, that spot in the middle will start to spread out. I think that you can use the challenge with success in approaching women almost like a metaphor for all your life. If you get this area handled, other areas will follow."
"If you've been working on becoming more successful with women and dating,you'll probably notice that the more you become succesfull with women and dating, the more succesfull you feel, the more succesfull things become in other areas in your life. WELL in this particular area I've really found that the more you work on this one thing, the more so many other kinda dominoes fall after it."
"I know many guys who are incredibly good, and some who are just "ok"… […] if you're already pretty good, if you really learn how to do this well, it will MAGNIFY, it will magnify, it'll amplify your success in other areas, probably more than any other one single skill"
Your Commitment to Getting This Handled [3:27] [1] {1}
If you're facing a challenge in this area, then this is an excellent metaphor for your life.
If you get this area handled, then many others will most likely follow.
If you don't get this area handled, you'll hold yourself back from much other success.
Commit to doing whatever it takes, and working on this for as long as you need.
~Xuma talks about this in "approach women now!" as Cathaxis~
The one thing that will make the biggest difference is your commitment to YOURSELF.
**3:44** - About helping other guys
TRACK 1-3 [2] {1} Imagine being an attractive woman
Exercise to Begin: Look Through the Eyes of an Attractive
Woman [3:18] [2] {2}
What is it like to be an attractive woman?
How often are you approached?
What are the most common ways men approach you?
Do most men approach you "directly" or "indirectly"?
Do you assume that any man who starts a conversation is "approaching" you?
Do you respect a man for trying to "hide" the fact that he's approaching you under some carefully-crafted "normal conversation"?
~An interesting distinction, since a lot of people seem to be under the impression (due to silly examples, like mystery's 40 times a day), that women hate beeing approached… what they hate is beeing approached by wishy-washy men, who don't know what they want (Credit: David Wygant), not that someone is flirting with them~
How does the fact that you're approached regularly by men affect your OVERALL view of men... and your expectations of a particular man you're talking to?
What kind of approach is almost GUARANTEED to fail and lead to REJECTION?
What kind of approach is almost GUARANTEED to succeed and lead to an ENGAGING interaction?
[3:29] [4] - some insights on why women walk around like men are invisible, and why she STILL wakes up each morning and puts on make-up coz she's hoping for the prince
[6:57] [6] - the most attractive women, the women who do all those extra things to really fix themselves up - THEY're afraid of rejection!
[7:54] [3] - about compliments…
TRACK 1-4 [1] {1}
What's YOUR Real Problem?
"I'd like you to just kinda think about them.Put them in your mind, see if any of them ring true."
Why can't you naturally and comfortably approach women?
1. Because you don't know what to expect.
2. Because you care what other people think or might think.
3. Because you don't want to be rejected.
4. Because you don't know what to do or say.
"You see her there, you know that walking over there… it's pretty safe enviroment, you know you're a decent person, she's nice, the whole deal… you just don't know what to do. You don't know how to play it out."
5. Because you don't believe it will work.
6. Because you don't want to bother her or her group.
7. Because you think it's unnatural for a man to approach and start a conversation with a woman he's attracted to.
"And btw… there are many cultures where it's culturally just not the right thing to do. It's wrong, culturally. Our western culture… has a little bit of that taboo. But it's pretty well accepted when it happens, in my experience."
8. Because you have a poor self-image, low self-esteem, and little or no selfconfidence.
9. Because you make it too important and attach meaning to each individual situation... and specifically meaning, about YOU as a person
10. Because you can't control the fears that stop you. You want to, it seems logical, but in the moment something takes over and you can't control it...
"If you walked outta here, knowing how to hande all 10 of those, would you feel like we had a succefull program?"
[5:20àà] - on habits and the habit of improving yourself, to keep chipping away at it (xuma's cathaxis story of the buddhist monks)
TRACK 1-5
The "I Want To Talk to You & Run Away At the Same Time"
Feeling [3] {1}
How is it possible that you can feel two incredibly complex feelings like "I want to talk to you" and "I want to run away" at the SAME TIME?
How is it possible that you can be thinking of what to say, and at the SAME TIME be thinking of how to get AWAY from the situation?
Humans are linear, sequential, and logical.
We can feel, think, and do many things at the same time.
Movies: Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan, Closer, Crash, etc.
The internal CONFLICT leads to fears of being unstable, fear of being out of control, fear of others knowing that you don't have your "act together", etc.
It's important to realize and accept that not only is it POSSIBLE for you to think, feel, do conflicting things, but that it's HUMAN to have this experience.
[3:52à4:28] - on WBAFCs and paralyzation and immobilization
~Lance explains this "don't beat yourself up, accept yourself, and try new ways" point, very well in FFI in the "be honest" section on DVD5~
[4:29] - accepting yourself meditation
Psyching Up Doesn't Work [1] {1}
We see an attractive woman, want to approach her.
Get up our nerve, try to talk ourselves into it.
She leaves, the chance is gone.
So we go home, replay the scene over and over, and beat ourselves up.
Then we "psych up"...
"Next time I'm going to do it... I'm just going to go up to her".
But next time the SAME THING happens.
The psyching up DIDN'T WORK... what happened?
Quote: Viktor E. Frankl [1:29] [5] {3}
"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." _Viktor E. Frankl
~Covered in the DYD's mastery program CD4, track 3~
Why Are We Afraid? [2:52] [1] {1}
What is it that triggers this intense EMOTIONAL reaction and experience?
Is there something WRONG with men who experience this?
There is a seemingly universal fear, nervousness, shyness, apprehension when it comes to approaching a woman you don't know.
Why? What are we afraid of?
Is our fear and shyness based on something OTHER than being afraid of physical harm or something bad happening to us?
***2:55*** on intelligent guys and how "understanding" hurts them
~ Trying to intellectually understand every single thing about approaching, before they even ask one woman for the time, or do an opinion opener ~
"Most men go thru this experience at some point in their life, and what I've actually found is the majority of men, deal with this throughout their whole life, in one way or another. Whether its in this context or not. I'm gonna say that's it even more than just approaching a woman you don't know. That it's a social fear that ussually spreads to approaching anyone you don't know."
What Are We REALLY Afraid Of?
We very likely evolved in troops of 50-150 members.
In that context, everyone knew everyone.
Your social status didn't tend to change rapidly.
Attractive females were almost ALWAYS "spoken for".
If you did "approach" an attractive female, there would have likely been many
complex potential consequences.
You would have faced rejection by the female... which would have likely led to rejection by other females... possibly confrontation by the dominant male or one of his allies... and very likely physical violence.
Any one of these things could have eventually led to rejection by the GROUP, which would have likely led to DEATH (no protection of the group).
TRACK 1-7 [1] {2}
I personally think that we are born with a "protective" system that is BUILT IN from birth... that takes over our mind/body/emotions to HELP us. (аха… затоа се случуваа сите оние ствари, ...
shmoach