04-Dating Strategies.pdf

Dating Strategies

of Women

part 4 f 8

for All 8 Types

of the Pandora’s Ph.D.

Strategy Series

Vin DiCarlo

DiCarlo Coaching

Strategy Guide Written By Brian Burke

•

have a counter-productive focus, or lack focus altogether. When it comes

to going on dates with women, most men fall apart. The hours, and even days

leading up to the date, are marked with anxiety and over-strategizing. I don’t

remember the irst time I asked a woman on a date, but I remember that it was

a nerve-wracking ordeal, and stayed that way for a long time. Just the thought

of that moment when I’d have to cut the small talk and actually ask a girl to

hang out with me was terrifying. What if she said no ?

Things are very different for me now. Setting up a “dates” is almost second

nature. It’s what I do. The whole game of meeting women, dating, sex,

relationships, is all about two people coming together, getting to know each

other more intimately over time. The bond between a man and a woman in a

sexual relationship is unique and special. Unfortunately, most men don’t treat

it as such. When you adopt the mindset of sharing your time with women, and

sharing experiences together as friends , everything becomes much easier.

This may sound counterintuitive – being friends with a woman that you want

to sleep with. But you’ll ind, with experience, that actually intending on

getting to know a woman, and having fun together outside the bedroom , will

make her much more interested in being intimate with you.

Introduction

T he biggest mistake men make when it comes to dating is that they either

Pace

I have a rule when it comes to sleeping with women. Don’t rush . This may

also sound counterintuitive because it is. It took me some time to really work

out this concept in my own mind. I move and talk slow, take my time, and

don’t put pressure on women, or myself, to have sex. At the same time, I don’t

miss opportunities to escalate, if I want to . Often, a woman will want me to

make a move (it will be very obvious), but for whatever reason, I may not feel

like it. But if I am turned on by a woman, and I sense she is ready to go to the

next level, I don’t hesitate.

Focus

Which brings me back to focus. The rest of this guide is based on two

presumptions. First, you don’t intend on hurting women. If your intention is

purely sexual, that’s ine, because women want sex too. But if you’re intention

is to use sex as a way of hurting women then this guide won’t work very well

for you; you’re intention won’t match the techniques laid out. Second, you

aren’t concerned with impressing women on your dates. If you are distracted

by approval-seeking thoughts, you won’t be able use this information

effectively.

It was the fear of rejection, or disapproval that made me so nervous when

I was younger. Worrying about whether or not a woman likes you is THE

problem when it comes to being good with women. This is what I mean by

a counter-productive focus. By focusing on making a woman like you, you

increase the chance that she’ll like you, because approval-seeking behavior

is universally repulsive. Women are extremely perceptive when it comes to

gauging how you think, and what you are paying attention to. In fact, that’s

what it’s all about – you attract (or repulse) women, by how you think.

Keep that in mind as you read this guide. Everything laid out is meant to

convey to women that you think differently than the average guy because you

are interested in a mutually beneicial experience. You want to have fun with

her, get to know her, relax with her and show her that she is safe with you.

Overview

This guide irst details how each Line in Pandora’s Box affects your dating

strategy. The second section of this guide is organized by each type, providing

an overview of key concepts and examples of application. And it’s worth

repeating that moving forward, your mindset for dating women is to become

friends. Consider what that means if sex is included in this intention.

It’s important to note here that the deinition of “date” can mean simply

hanging out with a woman. Using this deinition, if you go to the store with

a woman you have been sleeping with, that would be a “date.” However, I’m

sure you wouldn’t call that a date. Let’s say that, for the practical purposes of

this guide, a date is an arranged meeting with a woman you have not slept with.

New Rules

There are a few keys to successful dating that apply universally to all women.

Here’s the rundown:

Keep it cheap, but don’t look cheap. There’s a direct correlation between how

much money you spend and how long she makes you wait for sex. Don’t

appear to be trying to impress her with money, or your expertise in wine (I

remember telling one woman, “I don’t know shit about wine so you’re on your

own there. I can tell you about beer though!”)

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