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BREAK FREE OF STRESS, INNER
CONFLICT, AND SEL
ABOTAGE
Awaken Your
STRONGEST
SELF
NEIL FIORE, Ph.D.
New York Chicago San Francisco Lisbon London Madrid Mexico City
Milan New Delhi San Juan Seoul Singapore Sydney Toronto
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This book is dedicated to my parents,
Esther and Anthony Fiore, who gave me
a sense of innate worth and the loving acceptance
to develop my own Strongest Self. And also to my therapy and
coaching clients, who have helped me refine this process
over the last twenty years.
Copyright © 2007 by Neil Fiore. All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the United States
Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or
by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of
the publisher.
ISBN: 978-0-07-175958-8
MHID: 0-07-175958-1
The material in this eBook also appears in the print version of this title: ISBN: 978-0-07-174223-8,
MHID: 0-07-174223-9.
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every occurrence of a trademarked name, we use names in an editorial fashion only, and to the
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designations appear in this book, they have been printed with initial caps.
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TERMS OF USE
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reserve all rights in and to the work. Use of this work is subject to these terms. Except as permitted
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Contents
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
v
INTRODUCTION: The Sleeper Must Awaken
vii
1 Five Signs That You Are Not Your Strongest
Self . . . Yet
3
2 Expand Your Identity Beyond Your Ego
19
3 Step Up to Your Strongest Self ’s Point of View
33
4 Speak Up in the Voice of Your Strongest Self
43
5 Safety Replaces Stress: Self in the Role of Protector
61
6 Choice Replaces Inner Conflict: Self in the Role
of Negotiator
73
7 Presence Replaces Feeling Overwhelmed: Self in
the Role of Leader
87
iii
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iv
CONTENTS
8 Focus Replaces Self-Criticism: Self in the Role
of Teacher
103
9 Connection Replaces Lonely Struggle: Self in the
Role of Coach
115
10 Self-Efficacy and the Stages of Change: The Key to
Realizing Your Dreams
131
11 Stage I: Making Up Your Mind
147
12 Stage II: Committing to Change
161
13 Stage III: Taking Action
177
14 Stage IV: Maintaining Long-Term Success
191
15 Yo u Are Your Strongest Self
205
APPENDIX A: Journal for Successful Change
211
APPENDIX B: Centering Exercise
214
APPENDIX C: Stress Quiz
216
APPENDIX D: Effective Self-Talk:
The Voice of Acceptance
218
APPENDIX E: Effective Habit Change
220
APPENDIX F: Posttests
223
REFERENCES
226
INDEX
233
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