How to Say Anything to Anyone_ A Guide to Building Business Relationships That Really Work - Shari Harley.pdf

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How to
Say AnytHing
to Anyone
a guide to building
business relationships
that really work
shari harley
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This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in
regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the
publisher and author are not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other
professional services. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the
services of a competent professional should be sought.
Published by Greenleaf Book Group Press
Austin, Texas
www.gbgpress.com
Copyright ©2013 Shari Harley
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or
otherwise, without written permission from the copyright holder.
Distributed by Greenleaf Book Group LLC
For ordering information or special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact
Candid Culture at 700 N. Colorado Blvd., #410, Denver, CO 80206, 303.863.0948.
Design and composition by Molly Moore
Cover design by Molly Moore
Cataloging-in-Publication data
Publisher’s Cataloging-In-Publication Data
(Prepared by The Donohue Group, Inc.)
Harley, Shari.
How to say anything to anyone : a guide to building business relationships that
really work / Shari Harley. -- 1st ed.
p. ; cm.
Issued also as an ebook.
ISBN: 978-1-60832-409-5
1. Interpersonal relations. 2. Success in business. 3. Communication in
management. 4. Trust--Social aspects. I. Title.
HM1106 .H37 2013
302/.1
2012942417
Part of the Tree Neutral® program, which offsets the number of trees
consumed in the production and printing of this book by taking proactive
steps, such as planting trees in direct proportion to the number of trees used:
www.treeneutral.com
Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper
12 13 14 15 16 17 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
First Edition
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Contents
INTRODUCTION:
The Case fOR CaNDOR 1
ChaPTeR ONe:
hOw TO esTablIsh CaNDID RelaTIONshIPs 7
ChaPTeR TwO:
YOU GeT whaT YOU ask fOR 19
ChaPTeR ThRee:
TakING The MYsTeRY OUT Of wORkING wITh OTheRs 27
ChaPTeR fOUR:
hOw TO CReaTe CaNDID MaNaGeRIal RelaTIONshIPs 43
ChaPTeR fIVe:
MaNaGING UP wITh CaNDOR 63
ChaPTeR sIX:
sTReNGTheNING INTeRNal bUsINess RelaTIONshIPs 75
ChaPTeR seVeN:
RelaTIONshIPs ReqUIRe MaINTeNaNCe 85
ChaPTeR eIGhT:
CaN I TRUsT YOU? 95
ChaPTeR NINe:
GIVING aND ReCeIVING feeDbaCk
whaT, wheN, whY aND hOw 105
ChaPTeR TeN:
The feeDbaCk fORMUla 117
iv
How to Say anytHing to anyone
ChaPTeR eleVeN:
TIPs fOR GIVING UsefUl feeDbaCk 129
ChaPTeR TwelVe:
whaT TheY saY wheN YOU’Re NOT TheRe 139
ChaPTeR ThIRTeeN:
DealING wITh DIffICUlT sITUaTIONs 151
ChaPTeR fOURTeeN:
bUsINess RelaTIONshIPs ThaT ReallY wORk 167
aCkNOwleDGMeNTs: 169
abOUT The aUThOR : 170
introduCtion
the Case for Candor
C andor is widely misunderstood and sadly lacking in most
personal and professional relationships. Perhaps you feel
the word candor has a negative connotation, and thus you
don’t believe you can afford to try it. But have you ever considered
how a lack of candor affects you, both in business and in the rest
of your life? Take a look at these scenarios.
Have you ever interviewed for a position but failed to
receive the job offer, and you never igured out why?
Has a longtime friend ever suddenly stopped calling, with
no explanation?
Have you ever had a great date, but never heard from that
person again?
I’ll bet you wondered what went wrong in all those situations.
What should you do differently to get the job the next time? What
happened to that friendship—was it something you said or did?
Why no second date?
If you’re like most of us, instead of calling to ind out what
really happened, you made assumptions.
Now consider your relationships with people you are paying to
provide a service. If you sit too long in your doctor’s waiting room,
do you tell your doctor that you consider the delay disrespectful and
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